I’ve just added a new page about Rama V, King of Thailand for 42 years (1868 - 1910). Even if you are just visiting Thailand for a short time, it is very important you have at least a basic understanding his importance in Thai culture and Thai superstition.
And how about a little eye candy while we’re at it…
I may have touched on this in the past, but want to take this opportunity to go into greater detail. Contrary to what you might think, being called a butterfly is not a good thing. You definitely do not want a reputation for being one.
There is a subtle, but very important, difference between someone that is looking for a boy friend but wants to have a good time until he finds the right guy, and someone that will fuck anything with a pulse. The latter being a butterfly, also sometimes referred to as a helicopter, or dragonfly. To be called a butterfly is a huge insult, suggesting you are at the same level with a sex crazed animal.
If you are planning on a short visit in Thailand this is not as important. If you plan to frequent or settle its something you need to be very conscious of. All the boys talk, and once they have branded you a butterfly it’s going to stick. Trying to shake this reputation won’t be easy.
Even the money boys are looking for a boyfriend, and butterflies are not good candidates. You will be treated very differently by boys that think you are a good prospect for a long-term relationship. There are many things you will see and experience in Thailand, provided the boys have not labeled you an undesirable.
Even if you are paying for sex, treat the boys with respect. Take them on a date - dinner, movie, drinks, and then sex. Don’t hurt their feelings, and don’t treat them like a piece of meat. Be honest with them if you are seeing other boys, but make it clear you are always looking for that special boy to settle down with. Be careful how you answer when a boy asks you when was the last time you had sex with another boy, or how often in a week do you take a boy.
In a nutshell, guard your reputation, and always be aware Thais are very big on the belief that actions speak louder than words.
Dark skinned Thais are described as black, not dark or brown. Even boys with dark skin will tell you it is black. Shortly after arriving I was completely shocked to discover Thai society has a very definite prejudice toward those with darker skin.
Regardless of one’s education, the darkness of skin will, in many cases, have an impact on employment opportunities. Even in the tourism industry, light skin is preferred. The music, TV and Movie industries all tend to gravitate toward lighter skinned performers, particularly with individuals that are to become super stars. There is also a huge preference for those that look Japanese. Of the three, I’d say Thai movies show less prejudice than TV and music. Even in the sex trade, boys with darker skin often find it difficult to get a job in a Go Go bar.
One time a light skinned boy asked me to take some pictures of him to accompany his resume he was submitting for a lucrative tour guide position. He looked at the photos I took and politely asked if we could try again. He was concerned they made him look too dark, and would almost certainly get his application moved to the rejection pile.
Generally speaking, boys from the north tend to be of lighter skin, and have more of a Chinese look. Boys from the North-East region of Isan are typically dark skinned, as are those from the southern tip of Thailand. In fact, the southern boys can get almost black, and often have very dark, or even black, lips.
Thais do tan when exposed to sun light, and many will go to extremes to avoid it. When it’s hotter than hell outside and you see a boy wearing a long sleeve shirt, or jacket, he’ll probably tell you it’s for good fashion. In reality, many are just trying to cut down on their exposure to the sun.
To avoid enhancing their dark skinned look, a lot of boys are very selective about the colors they wear. This is something to keep in mind when trying to buy a boy a new shirt. Don’t expect the boy to give an honest reason why he doesn’t care for the shirt you picked out. A lot of boys simply do not want to talk about the skin color issue. Can you blame them?
Most boys use baby powder to keep their skin smooth, dry, and odor free. It’s not lost on the gay boys this white powder also lightens their skin. For those that can afford it, there are scores of products promising to turn dark skin lighter. I have my doubts any of them actually work, but just try convincing a boy of this. Many boys, particularly the gay queens, will use makeup to lighten their face, and if not obvious in person, the camera does not lie.
We all know about the age old question, “Is it true what they say about Black men?” Well, in Thailand, the odds of a boy sporting a big package definitely go up if his skin is dark. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of pencil dick dark skinned boys, but it’s extremely rare to find a light skinned boy with something to brag about.
So they call their skin black, are often well endowed, and face prejudice almost daily…sound familiar? I expected more from an Asian culture…silly me.
Thai boys peal their pull over shirts of in such a way that it turns them inside out. When putting the shirt back on they reverse the process. On occasion, I’ve even seen this done with button down shirts.
Their shirts are laundered inside out, and after dried get put on hangers inside out. The boys are convinced this is more practical (easier) than the way we farang do it. Personally I think its six of one - half a dozen of another.
One day I was out having lunch with a farang friend when he suddenly realized his shirt was on inside out. He has a Thai boyfriend that takes care of the house keeping. So if you see some poor farang walking around with his shirt on inside out, you can assume to know the reason why. Odds are you will be correct.
The boys do the same thing with their sox.
Soi Twilight is a relatively new pocket of gay establishments (mostly Go Go bars) that makes up the Silom gay district. It is a walking street, which means vehicles do not drive through during the evening business hours, but don’t be surprised if a few motor bikes pass you.
This short little L shaped street defines “Red Light District”, as you literally have to run the gauntlet of very aggressive barkers, each doing his utmost to all but physically drag you into a Go Go bar. In the mix is a sex massage place, gay beauty shop, and Richard’s Caf?…a great western and Thai food restaurant with excellent cocktails. There’s also a couple of open air bars, opposite of each other at the Suriwong Road entrance to the Soi. I don’t remember the names of these two bars, but they become very important around midnight.
Beginning around 11:30, peeking at about 12:30, and pretty much over with at 1:30 is the nightly parade of boys. As the mostly Go Go boys get off work, they all make their way out (in street cloths) to the Suriwong Road entrance of Soi Twilight.
A large percentage of these boys hang out at the entrance of the Soi in a last attempt at finding a customer for the evening. At the same time freelance money boys, and boys getting off from other parts of Silom begin to arrive. It’s really quite a sight to see, and a great way to spend the last couple of hours during your night out.
The two open air bars I mentioned make great vantage points for this nightly event. The bar on the left, as you enter the Soi, is the better of the two, because it is slightly elevated. These bars are not very big, so it’s best to arrive around 11:30, or you may not get a seat.
I’ve attended the parade of boys on many occasions but, for one reason or another, never took a boy home. It certainly wasn’t for lack of opportunity, I can assure you!
This is one of those unique experiences everyone should treat themselves to; at least once while visiting Bangkok.
Out of Date Soi Twilight Map
Silom Area Map - Also Out of Date (see 13&14)
Thai boys are truly adorable between the ages of 18 and 22, but there are some considerations you must make if contemplating a long-term relationship. Aside from their tendency to be a bit immature, something that may or may not be an issue, boys at this age are faced with two very important life obligations.
BECOMING A MONK
For a brief period, usually lasting 30 days, a large percentage of Thai boys feel strongly compelled to fulfill their obligation as a monk. In most cases, a boy is going to live as a monk between the ages of 20 and 22. I go into more detail in my new information page “Buddhism Primer“. In a nut shell, the boy will travel to his home town and return with his head and eye brows shaved. You will most likely be asked to travel with him and attend the day-long ceremony that marks his transition to monk hood. Living without for a month, and getting him back looking less than flattering is a true test of one’s love and devotion.
ENTERING MILITARY SERVICE
Thailand has a national military draft. Most boys are subject to the draft that I believe takes place in their 20th year, but is actually fulfilled at age 22. Boys must return to their home of record and participate in a lottery. From what I understand, the ratio of those selected varies from one region to the next. If selected, the boy must fulfill a two year military obligation. Like a lot of things in Thailand, with the right connections and the right amount of cash, boys can get out of having to participate in the lottery. One can not ignore the fact that many boys will actively pursue a farang boy friend, in hopes he will fall in love and pay to keep his adoring Thai boy out of the military.
On the 24th of this month Thailand will celebrate the festival of Loy Kratong. It is a Buddhist celebration honoring the Lord Budda. Among other things, it includes the ceremony of floating down river a floral arrangement with one lit candle and three burning sticks of incense.
This ceremony is intended to symbolize the letting go of all negative in one’s life and starting fresh. It is also believed to bring good luck, and like our birth day celebrations, participants make a wish.
It is not my purpose to cover all the details of Loy Kratong. In this post there are links to other web sites with much more detail and/or photos. You can also Google “Loy Kratong” or “Loy Kratong gay” for a wealth of information on the subject.
If just visiting Thailand, during the festival, I highly recommend experiencing it. For those of you planning to live in Thailand, I have something extremely important to share with you.
Thais take this celebration very seriously. Thus, if you have been seeing a Thai boy, at a level beyond that of a one night stand, and he invites you to participate in this ceremony with him, it means he REALLY likes you. It is a sincere gesture you should take note of. What you do with this information is up to you. Just realize the boy is making a statement, and if you have not told him otherwise he probably assumes you are completely unaware of just how heartfelt it is. That is what makes it so very special.
That said, keep in mind Thais also believe when romantic couples, married or otherwise, perform the ceremony together, it will enhance the longevity of their relationship.
This was told to me by a Thai Boy from the Southern Region of Thailand, so I’m not sure how widely practiced it is. At least with some Thais, the clipping of your finger and/or toe nails between the hours of 6pm and 6am brings bad luck for the house the clipping took place in. I don’t know if it means general bad luck, or something specific like health, prosperity, or bad spirits.
Now I realize most people would never think of clipping their nails in the presence of a guest, or as a guest in someone’s home. But if you find yourself in a long-term relationship with a Thai boy, this is probably something you should be aware of.
As I mentioned in my new information page “Thai Discos” There is a big difference between the westernized gay discos, in the Silom area of Bangkok, and those Thai boys frequent…the Thai-4-Thai or Sticky Rice clubs.
Perhaps one of the best kept secrets, from the farang, is a cluster of four clubs up north, next to the Chatuchak Market. I don’t remember the street address, but it’s directly across from all the Chatuchak gardening and landscape shops.
The four clubs are all right next to each other, with the two most popular at each end and the two in between taking the spill over crowd. The Mogue Bar was the number one club until about a year ago when El Ninio opened and stole the show. Mogue is now the second most popular, and I don’t remember the names of the other two spill over clubs.
Mogue is dark, loud, and has a nightly cabaret (drag) show that starts around 12 and runs for 30-40 minutes. On a good night Mogue starts to fill up between 11 and 11:30. El Ninio is more brightly lit, not quite as loud, small, does not have a nightly show, leans more toward hip hop music, and jam packed with the cutest college age Thai boys I’ve ever see in one location. The only possible way to get a table, short of calling in a reservation, is to get there at 9pm when the doors open. On most nights, the place will be empty at 9, but 90 percent of the tables have already been reserved. By 11 El Ninio is standing room only, and its pure disco jamming, gorgeous Thai boy heaven…EVERY night of the week!
Now don’t get me wrong, Mogue Bar is no slouch. In fact, I’ve gone there more times than El Ninio, mostly because it’s a pain in the ass to get a table at the number one venue. Aside from the music being just a little bit too loud for a man of my years, and the crowd being a mix of cute and not so, Mogue is a great club. Well, it also has these annoying boys in the bathroom that want to give a back massage while you’re trying to drain the last two glasses of whiskey and coke. To each their own, but I like to be left alone while taking a leak…thank you very much!
The real magic of this place is all the clubs have tables and chairs outside, and a lot of people never go into the clubs, other than to say hello to friends with a table. They just hang out on the street and mingle with everyone from all four clubs. It almost takes on a street party atmosphere. And when two o’clock rolls around, and the clubs close, all these cute boys, from all four bars, dump onto the street in unison. OMG…it’s a sight to behold, and it goes on for about an hour.
If you are visiting Bangkok, do try and experience this place at least once while you’re there. The best way to get there is have a Thai boy take you. All the gay boys in Bangkok know where the Mogue bar is.
