When you see two gay Thai boys riding piggyback (one carrying the other on his back) it means they are boyfriends.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

This was pointed out to me by a farang friend one evening as we were enjoying the nightly parade of boys in Soi Twilight. The two boys that pasted by ridding piggyback had just finished work, in their respective bars, and were heading out to spend some time with each other.

It is not clear to me why the two felt it necessary to announce their love in this fashion. I’m sure all the other boys already knew of their relationship, and the majority of farang would not have picked up on it. Had it not been pointed out to me, I too would have assumed it was just a couple of cute Thai boys horsing around for the spectators.

You could live in Thailand for ten years and never learn about these little tidbits of Thai culture. I am fortunate enough to know a very knowledgeable person that took the time to share this, and many things like it, with me. I’ll pass more of these on as they come to mind.

I’ve just added Making a Sandwich, a new information page about how to set up a 3-way with Thai (Go Go) money boys.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

The method is by no means foolproof, but it will certainly improve the chances of your having a great time. Considering the cost of doing one of these, you definitely want the deck stacked in your favor.

A lot of boys like to ask their farang to buy them gold jewelry, usually starting with a nice chain. I’ve touched on why it is a bad idea to spoil the boys, and I plan to talk about it more. That said, if you can’t resist the temptation, and I know how hard that can be, at least understand why the boy wants gold.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

Gold is like money in the bank for these boys, and that is exactly how they are going to use it when the cash flow, from you, ends. They all know, sooner or later, it will end and are smart enough to try and put a little something away for a rainy day.

Countless times you will be faced with having to deliver a rejection. In most cases it will have to do with a Thai asking you to buy something, but it’s certainly not limited to those situations. I never mastered it, but those that can convey a negative response by justifying it with a joke have a skill to be envied. When done correctly, a Thai will laugh, drop whatever it is they were asking for, and walk away with a smile.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

I know several farang that are good at this, and it is a marvel to observe. Of course, the more Thai and Thai culture you know the easier it is to pull off. That said, I highly recommend trying to develop this skill from the moment you step off the plane. I was in Thailand for quite a long time before learning of this and its importance. Perhaps if I had discovered it earlier, I too would be a master at the art of joking.

If you ever find yourself agreeing or offering to buy a boy tennis shoes, I can almost guarantee he’s going to want Converse brand. The exact style will differ from one boy to the next, but it has to be Converse. Of course, this is one of the most expensive brands of tennis shoe in Thailand, so most boys can’t afford them.

The sad thing is even if a boy is able to acquire a pair of these highly coveted shoes, he’ll then have to guard them like a hawk for fear they’ll be stolen by one of the other boys.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

A farang friend, of 12 years in Thailand, once told me something I never forgot. He said most farang treat their boys like puppies. While a rent boy will appear to be pleased when treated this way, in reality he does not like it, and it greatly diminishes his respect for you. In fact, it diminishes the respect all the other boys have for you, and they are all observing and comparing notes…believe me.

Kissing, hugging, touching, grabbing, or fondling a rent boy in public, including inside a bar, is embarrassing for the boy. The ideal situation is to have a boy that fancies you. You will have a much better experience if he does. Doing things to diminish his respect for you is not the way to achieve this goal.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

You may think that buying the boy gifts, and letting him order expensive drinks and meals will score points, but nothing could be further from the truth. The only thing you will get in return is to be labeled by him, and all the other boys, as easy. The boys do not respect someone that is easy. You may question why the boys ask for it if they don’t like it. The answer is you are being tested!

JAI-DEE (good heart) means to be to be kind and generous. I use to think this was a complement, and in some situations it is. If a boy says, in front of you, to another boy you are jai dee, it is most likely a tongue and cheek insult…he’s telling his friend you are easy - a push over. Your response, of course, will be to thank the boy for this nice complement, and the joke will be on you!

My focus here has been on the rent boys, because they will go with you for the money, even though they do not respect you. They may be for sale, but the boys are still human and have feelings. How well they take care of you will often be driven by your conduct. With non money boys you probably won’t get to first base, and you most certainly won’t get a second date.

All of this is completely contradictory to our western way of thinking, and very difficult for us to embrace. The better you get at it, the more pleasing your experiences will be with the boys. For you older/fatter guys, mastering the art of garnering respect will most certainly result in a lot more free sex.

If a boy does something really bad, and you confront him with it, do not expect to hear the words “I’m sorry.” Assuming he is willing to admit his transgression, the boy will, at most, say “I know I do wrong.” But you might not hear that unless he decides from the conversation you want more from him than simply admitting he did it.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

Unlike the more casual “sorry” often used for things like accidentally bumping into you in a crowd, or interrupting a conversation, “I am sorry” takes on a very different meaning. As I understand it, “I’m sorry” translates to Thai as the equivalent of “I am very bad, please beat me.”

I had a situation where a fairly westernized boy, with reasonably good English skills, did something very bad to me. At first he said to me, over the phone, “I know I do wrong.” A few hours later this was followed by a text message saying “I apologize.” Most boys do not know about the work apologize, but this one possessed a rather extensive English vocabulary. However, the boy never said he was sorry, and I never expected him to.

It is very difficult for a boy to say “I do wrong” and should be taken as meaning he is very sorry for what he has done. You should also take it as his “strongest” and final effort to make amends. In my opinion, you should try to avoid pushing a boy to the point of having to say he has done wrong, unless it’s something really bad and you want to emotionally punish him. For most things you are probably better off just telling him you are not happy, and leave it at that. In Thai culture it takes far less to get your point across, so be careful not to over do it based on western standards.

Thai society is blatantly paternal, masking the less obvious power women enjoy within the family unit. Women have a seemingly hypnotic influence over the men in their family, a reality most farang end up learning the hard way. This will almost certainly be your greatest source of frustration, because it makes no difference how accurate or justified your opinions and desires are. If the mother, grandmother, sister, or cousin differs, you will almost always loose!

The bond between mother and son is so powerful it will literally blow your mind. Mom can be a pitiful drunken alcoholic that goes on four day binges, and can’t hold down a job, yet she will always have the unbreakable love, honor, and respect of her son. She doesn’t even have to make demands. The mere expression of her preference is usually all it takes to sway her son’s decision or behavior.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

As an extreme example, a boy will spend thousands on a gold necklace for Mother’s Day knowing full well, and openly admitting, she will soon hock it for booze. He will live in poverty in order to send her money every month for bills, because she is too much of a drunk to earn her own income.

Any resistance on your part, regardless of the female family member involved, is absolutely futile. Attempts to fight it will only diminish you in the eyes of the boy, or at the very least create unwanted tension.

At this point you may be envisioning something akin to Cinderella’s evil step sisters, but it’s not like that at all. As I said before, this is a seemingly hypnotic influence, and that’s what makes it so frustrating. You may never be able to get your arms around this unique aspect of Thai culture, but believe me when I say it is real and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. You can either accept it, or go crazy beating your head against a brick wall.

I did not add this to my Important Thai Words page, because it doesn’t qualify as something you need to know when first arriving in Thailand. But once you get into seeing Thai boys for something more than a one night stand, such as dating or a fuck buddy, it’s good to know.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

Thai boys tend to move very quickly when it comes to locking into a long-term relationship. It is very common for a boy to want boyfriend (BF) status within a few days. To most boys BF is no different than being married, and we westerners are not always ready to move quite that fast. Thus, knowing how to communicate your interest in a long-term relationship, without killing all hope of it ever developing, can be useful. We call it dating, but Thais don’t know what that means.

Boyfriend is something you learn about very early in your stay, but the word for a westerner’s equivalent to dating is elusive, probably because most boys want to skip that step. Gik, pronounced like bic with a “g”, is described by the boys as “more than friend, but not boyfriend”. I’ve also seen it described as casual boyfriend/girlfriend, or inmate friend. It is the closest thing to our concept of dating or a sexual relationship with no commitments attached.

As it relates to dating, I can assure you monogamy is a requirement during the gik period. With fuck buddies, monogamy may not be demanded, but discretion is certainly advised.

I have updated both of my language pages with the following…

Important Thai Words Page:

Crab - bpoo [very similar to the poo in Winnie The Poo]
Tea – chaa [like cha cha dance]

Taxi Instructions…
Keep Going – There are better ways to say it, but the one I found easiest to remember is By E. It means go again.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

Thai English Page:

What you working? This is how you ask a Thai boy what he does for a living. His answer, honest or otherwise, will be the type of work he does, or the company he works for, or that he is a student, or he may even tell you he is a money boy. He might also say he works at a bar, usually meaning he is a money boy, but not always.

University is the only word boys understand when talking about institutions of higher education. They don’t know what a school or college is and may not know what student, study, teach, major, or learning means. I go university means he is a student. While a lot of money boys are students, some are not, but often say they are. Marketing seems to be the major of preference for those claiming to be a student, but are not.