Something I noticed very early in my stay is the boys, particularly money boys, are often reluctant to partake of the spirits. I assumed they just wanted to keep their wits about them while in the company of a paying customer, and still believe that holds true. However, until recently I was unaware of an affliction, commonly referred to as Asian Flush, or Asian Blush, which affects roughly 50 percent of the Asian population.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

The syndrome is caused by what is considered a genetic defect and, among other things, results in a low tolerance for alcohol. The symptoms that include redness and “flushing” of the face, range from mild to severe, depending on the individual. On the extreme side, a boy can get hammered on one glass of wine, making it highly unwise to consume any alcohol if he hopes to experience and remember the rest of the evening.

Obviously, for a working boy, this could have devastating results if not managed carefully. Thus, when a boy pushes back on drinking, pressuring him to do so could put a quick end to an otherwise great evening…for both parties!

I do find it wonderfully revealing when a boy does get drunk. All kinds of frank and honest dialog comes poring out. But I’ve learned to go slowly, or risk dealing with a barfing lump of flesh in the taxi ride home. I’ve also discovered taxi drivers are very good about taking the most direct route when they have a puking boy in the back seat.

On the subject of drunken Thai boys…

The other night, a group of us were at one of the GoGo bars that has a rather lengthy stage show. By the time they got to the parading of naked boys with big cocks we were all pleasantly plastered. My boy, apparently naive about these things, noticed the rubber band around their dicks, used to keep them hard while on stage, and thought it was the lip of a fake cock. So every time one of the boys would stop in front of us, seated front row, he would reach up and try to pull it off, much to the chagrin of the well endowed performers. He simply could not believe that many Thai boys could have such big dicks, and insisted on proving they were all wearing a plastic penis. While I’m sure the performers would disagree, it ended up being the most entertaining part of the evening.

I don’t know what it is about Thai Boys, but most seem to have problems dribbling into their undies after taking a pee. A friend told me this is actually common with all Asian boys, and started to say it has to do with their being uncut. I quickly stopped him on that theory, because my boy is cut and he does it too!

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

One boy told me he doesn’t like to wear white underwear, because, “not easy to clean.” Further investigation of his comment revealed he too has problems with pee pee stains in his briefs. Not an issue for him, because he will only wear black underwear.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

A friend told me a story about he and his Chinese BF having identical pairs of underwear. After laundering them one day, he gave one pair to the boy, who question how he knew which one belonged to him. My friend answered, “Easy…yours has the pee stains.”

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

It is truly one of the great mysteries of Asia that may never be solved.

In an earlier post, titled A Disco Alternative, I talked about a cluster of Thai-4-Thai discos located near the Chatuchat weekend market. Well, a lot has change there, and here is an update.

EL Ninio is still the number one venue of the group. Mogue Bar has closed, and a new club has opened in its space. In between them used to be two spillover clubs that weren’t much to talk about. Both have been completely renovated, and a fifth club has opened. Fake Club, all done in a purple and black theme, seems to be the number two choice for the young college crowd.

In addition, there’s a great open air restaurant and bar called The Fountain. They have a Thai/English menu, the food is great, some of the wait staff speak English, and the service is very good. It’s an ideal place to grab a bite to eat, before hitting one of the five clubs. Or you can take a comfortable seat out front and enjoy all the eye candy passing by, as this place still takes on a street party atmosphere.

Behind what used to be the Mogue Bar is a gay karaoke bar. From what I understand this used to be an after hours bar, but now it closes about the same time as the others.

I call the five clubs discos, but perhaps a better description would be boutique discos, as all are small and have no dance floor. They still get jam packed, much like DJ Station on a Friday or Saturday night. The difference is everyone has their own table, so there isn’t much mingling about in the bar. And trying to get to the bathroom, or go outside for a smoke, can be challenging, to say the least.

I prefer, and everyone I’ve taken there agrees, to get a table outside one of the clubs. They have outdoor speakers, so you can enjoy the music, but at a volume that allows for conversation. Inside, the view is limited to those that are immediately next to your table. Outside, there is a steady stream of cute boys passing by, and a greater opportunity to meet some of them. In addition, there’s a bathroom on the back side of El Ninio with no waiting, unless you want a sit down toilet or access to the mirror. Of the five discos, outdoor tables, with bar stools, are best at El Ninio and Fake Club. Both also have an outdoor serving area.

As I’ve mentioned before, the best way to get to this place is with the aid of one or more Thai boys. If you want to venture out on your own, I suggest taking the BTS to Saphan Kwai, use exits 2 or 4 and flag a taxi. Tell the drive to take you to Or Tor Kor, a market place on the opposite side of the street from the clubs. He should drive a few blocks, and turn left just before Chatuchat. I believe you will go through one light before reaching a pedestrian foot bridge that crosses the road you are on. Have the driver stop at the bridge and take it across to the other side of the street. At the bottom of the steps you will be directly in front of El Ninio.

Get there at 9:30, so you can reserve a table and buy your bottle. Then go to The Fountain for dinner and to kill some time before the crowd starts arriving a little after 10. Currently there is one boy at El Ninio that speaks English. The bar just to the left of Fake Club has some English speaking staff. I didn’t notice anyone capable of speaking English at the other bars, but that doesn’t men there aren’t any.

Thai Discos

A Disco Alternative

I was at dinner the other night with a group of friends. During the course of the evening I got into a discussion with a Thai sitting next to me about one of the few things that annoy me in Thailand. I told him it is very frustrating when I’m in a hurry and can’t get around two or more Thais leisurely strolling side-by-side down the sidewalk.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

He explained that Thai think someone is a bit crazy if they need to walk so fast. He went on to share a common phrase Thais use for talking about this. He said it is like the man whose water buffalo has been stolen and he’s chasing after it. The implication being, you need a very good reason to be in such a hurry.

Here is an interesting little item someone recently shared with me. It’s called the DJ Station Test, and can be administered by farang or Thai. Read this with the understanding there are always exceptions, and its just one indicator when trying to evaluate the boy you are with.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

If you are seeing a boy repeatedly, and he keeps trying to get you to go into DJ Station, he probably wants to observe how many boys know you, and who they are. And don’t be surprised if he also wants you to drop into GOD for the same. This is where you will find many of the restaurant and bar wait staff hanging out after they finish work. If in doubt, wait and see if he drags you to every floor in the place, leaving no stone unturned…so to speak. If a boy does this it indicates he has a strong and sincere interest in establishing a long-term relationship, provided you pass the test.

On the flip side, if you want to know how sincere his intentions are, recommending an evening at DJ Station can be very telling. If the boy pushes back on this idea, it’s a red flag. Saying he doesn’t like DJ, or constantly making excuses for why a particular evening is not good for him, suggests he might not want his Thai friends to see him with you. If a boy is really interested in you and hoping for something long-term to develop, he’s happy to show his new found farang off to his friends. However, if the boy’s intentions are purely short-term, he won’t want his social network to know about you. A lot of guys go out of their way to avoid giving the impression they are a money boy, even those with opportunistic intentions that discretely pursue short term farang visitors.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

There are a multitude of other reasons why a boy might not want to go with you to DJ Station, some honorable and others not. So it isn’t nearly as effective as the results a boy gets when testing his farang. None the less, both are worth being aware of when trying to get the big picture on things.

Unlike us westerners that adhere to a daily breakfast, lunch and dinner eating schedule, Thais tend to graze. They are often completely overtaken by the desire to eat, right at that moment. It’s as if a spell gets cast, briefly turning them into a food eating zombie.

One time, a couple of the boys went into the kitchen to make some noodles. I told them we would be going out to eat soon so they might not want to ruin their apatite. The two smiled, put everything back, and returned to watching TV. Within 5 minutes both were back in the kitchen making noodles.

The same two boys and I were walking to the BTS one night when we passed a food stand selling grilled pork balls. The boys just had to have them, so everything came to a halt while we stopped to buy pork balls. We were headed for Balcony Pub, and the boys knew they could order something there, but it didn’t make any difference. The boys wanted pork balls, they wanted them now, and nothing else would do.

A group of us (Thai boys and farang) are walking to a restaurant one evening. Next thing we know the boys have disappeared from view. Turns out they spotted some delicious grilled squid two blocks back and stopped to buy some. Once reunited, I asked them why they would stop to eat on the way to dinner. It was explained to me the restaurant we were going to did not serve grilled squid and they wanted to eat some…silly me.

Both farang thought it was a bit rude of the boys to stop and eat when we were about to buy them dinner. The boys insisted it was acceptable practice in Thai culture, and no one would have taken offense. It was further explained that Thais eat what they want, when they want, regardless of the circumstance. Later I was able to confirm, with several other boys, this is true. It was further evidenced while I was at lunch today and observed a Thai woman, two sticks of grilled pork in hand, walk in and join a table of friends getting ready to order.

With another Thai cultural lesson under my belt, I thought it appropriate to return the favor. So, it was explained to the boys that it’s probably a good idea to avoid offending their farang host by suggesting the food he is about to buy them is no good. I didn’t notice either boy taking notes during their farang cultural lesson, but something tells me these two will never again stop to by something yummy while we’re in route to a dinning establishment. Not that I mind at this point, but it will be interesting to see if the Thai grazing gene is more powerful than the desire to achieve cross cultural harmony.

I was also a bit disturbed both boys stopped for food and didn’t tell the rest of the group. I ran this by some other farang that have Thai boyfriends. They said this happens to them all the time. As frustrating as it is, any efforts to change this in a boy are, for the most part, an exercise in futility.

When something tasty catches their eye it becomes the number one priority. The boys briefly loose contact with space and time, as they dedicate all of their mental and physical energy toward satisfying the craving for whatever has caught their food grazing eye. Once the boys have their food in hand, they snap back to reality and everything can move forward as planned.

I’ve just added a new page that talks all about buying a bottle of whiskey at bars and clubs in Thailand. A lot of people don’t realize there’s a huge cost savings that comes with buying a bottle instead of individual drinks. The new page Bottles of Whiskey goes into great detail about this, and how to avoid getting ripped off.

Photo Courtesy of Telephone Pub

READ BOTTLES OF WHISKEY

The other night I was out with my American friend conducting some additional research for a post I have planned. The study involved consuming massive quantities of whiskey, a task we managed to achieve rather successfully. Upon completion of the experiment, and the subsequent shagging of a couple of cute boys in a seedy Silom Soi 6 bar, we headed for the Burger King to debrief and compare notes.

As we were about to pass the Sala Deang BTS station, three ladyboys approached from the opposite direction. Instead of passing us by, one walked right up and started grabbing on me, as if to suggest I had caught her fancy. Unbeknownsed to me, another was circling around for a pass at my wallet when my friend stepped in and physically drove the girls off. One of the “ladies” called us a hia (huge insult), at which point I returned fire with a very angry OY, and we all continued on our respective ways.

Now I’m fully aware of the reputation ladyboys have for being pick pockets, but in my inebriated state had no idea that’s what was happening. It was only after things calmed down my friend explained what had just transpired. In the process of expressing my gratitude for his quick thinking it came out my friend was completely unaware of the reputation ladyboys have. As it turns out, my well traveled bar buddy had experienced similar in Barcelona, and immediately recognized what was going down. I’m not sure I would have caught it, even if sober, and consider myself a very lucky guy to have been in the company of someone so fast on his feet. It’s even more impressive when you factor in he was just as shit faced as me.

When in high-risk areas such as Silom, MBK, and other crowded tourist spots, I’m very good about relocating my wallet to a zippered pant leg pocket. Thinking it was late at night, and the crowds were gone, I consciously reasoned it was safe to carry my wallet in the back pocket, a mistake I’ll never make again.

I never go out with more money than I need for the night. By that hour I was down to a few hundred baht, enough for Burger King and a taxi home. None the less, the thought of having to replace other contents of my wallet makes me shudder. I was very fortunate the evening ended with a little excitement and no grief.

Another night in Bangkok…live and learn!

Here are the latest additions and corrections to the Thai English Page…

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

Look – means watch, observe, stare, gaze, gawk, appear, or see. I look (watch) TV. He look (stare at) me long time. You look (appear) same not happy. I look (see) before mall.

Sharp – means smart – OH! You very sharp about this! He so sharp computer.

Tissue – can mean toilet paper, facial tissue, paper napkin, or paper towel.

If you notice a boy has just gotten his hair cut and you say “change hair” in commenting on it, he will politely inform you he has not. Thais only consider their hair changed when they have changed the style or color. Style changes are common with a lot of the boys that have long hair. Boys do not understand “hair cut” or “cut hair”. The only thing I’ve found that works is a hand gesture using your fingers like scissors as if you are cutting your hair.

Most Thais know what a microwave is, but when talking about cooking with one they just say wave. You want wave? I wave for you.

Thai boys do not take pills, they eat pills.

If you ask a boy something, and his response is “nothing” it means he does NOT want to talk about it.

Not really Tinglish, but just how they say it in Thailand:

Mobi (Moe By) = Cellular Phone
Powder = Baby Powder

I’ve also added this new section that is sure to grow over time…..

Difficult English To Learn

English words that are frequently used, when living with a Thai boy, that seem particularly difficult for them to learn.

Towel
Sheet (bed)
Blanket
Quilt
Laundry
Trash
Sandal(s)
Scissors
Pants
Shirt
Watch (time piece)

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

The more mirrors you have in your home or hotel room, the happier a Thai boy will be. Comments….stories?