I’ve just given a much needed update to the Banking & ATMs page. I’ve also added some information that answers some questions recently submitted by a reader. His other questions regarding cost of living will be addressed in a new page I’m working on.
After an absence of several months, a few weeks ago I started surfing the boys on Gay Romeo again. There’s a game some of the boys are playing I hadn’t seen before. Maybe it’s nothing new, and for whatever reason I never encountered it in the past. In any case, I thought it worth mentioning, so the unsuspecting will get a heads up.
After meeting a boy that has expressed a desire to come see me, I point blank ask him if he’s a money boy. Lately I’ve had several tell me they are not, but could really use some help…just this one time. So I ask how much “help” they are in need of. I’ve had answers that range between 2 and 3 thousand baht. They all claim to be students and are a little short on their room rent or college tuition.
Now I’ve had the hungry college student line used on me many times before, but usually they drop it just before leaving…the typical sob story routine. It’s rare they will try it up front, and I’ve never had them ask for more that the standard 1000 baht. OK…you want to pretend you’re not a money boy, but need 1000? No problem.
So, I say to these guys, “I can get money boy for 1000, why I pay you 2000?” Every single one has responded with the same answer, “I am not money boy. Not same.” No matter what I say to them after that, the boys stick to their guns, insisting their telling me true and it’s a legitimate request. The last one even said he just needed help this one time, and would not ask again when we go out for dinner or a movie…like he’s actually going to come see me again once I’ve shelled out 2k. And it wasn’t lost on me sex didn’t get mentioned for those “next time” visits. I should also mention every one of them acted like they were insulted that I would put them in the same league as a money boy…go figure.
This game must be working for them, or they wouldn’t be playing it. And we are just entering what should be high season, so the boys probably assume most farang they talk to are tourists. Most boys don’t read profiles, or they would have known I am not a tourist. Perhaps I’m wrong, but I really doubt they will find many xpats willing to agree to 2 or 3 grand up front, with a boy they’ve met on-line.
Assuming he wants to nail down a price before coming to see me, I never agree to anything more than 1000. How much they get above that depends entirely on how good the boy is, and I’m not just talking about sex.
I guess it’s just like the mentality I’m seeing with the bars. When there are no customers, they all raise their prices. Obviously no one in the sex trade here understands the concept of a buyer’s market.
Anyway, for you unsuspecting tourists out there, these guys ARE money boys, looking to cash in big on those that don’t know any better. Other than help for a taxi fare, those that are not money boys will never, ever ask for money….never! If you try and pay one that’s not a money boy, he WILL be insulted.
One of the things that’s really hit home with me in a big way is the importance of developing genuine friendships with the bar boys. This isn’t as easy to do if only visiting for a short time, once or twice a year. It takes a long time to earn the boys’ respect, before they will sit with you for hours knowing full well there is no money to be made. On top of that, most visiting for a short time probably want to pack in as much sex with the boys as their wallet and dick can manage. When you live here long-term that becomes less important, as it’s always there if you want it and doesn’t need to be rushed.
Granted, anyone can put a bottle of whiskey on his table and start inviting boys to join him. He’ll certainly get plenty of takers, but the mind set of his guests is not the same. The boys are just taking advantage of the situation, and hoping there’s money in it for them. It’s very different when the boys sincerely want to sit, relax, and have a good time, with little or no hidden agenda. For that to work, I too must be free of any ulterior motives, and it takes time to demonstrate that to the boys.
I hadn’t paid much attention to what was developing until the other night when two boys, I’ve known for a long time, joined us for the remainder of the evening. In the past both had stopped to say hello, and then moved on. Their decision to join us told me the boys had come to the conclusion this was a situation they don’t usually encounter. While these boys need to make money for sex, they actually have respect for, and prefer associating with, farang that are not focused on getting into their pants. Sometimes they just want to relax and have a good time with true friends.
Of course it’s a great way to meet new boys. All the boys have friends, and every night I do this one or two new faces show up at the table. I always go home with one or two boys, but for sleeping only. Easy to do considering I’m too shit faced for anything more. Even so, I wouldn’t want to screw things up by introducing sex in the eleventh hour. I keep my pursuit of sex separated from these special nights out.
What is to be gained by all of this, other than a fun night out with a group of stunningly gorgeous boys? As time passes, my respect level with the boys and other workers throughout the Soi continues to grow. Life is much better when the boys give a shit about you, and so is the sex.
For those that don’t know what it is, I’ve just added a page about yaba, the drug of choice among youth in Thailand…nasty stuff!
The other night I was sitting in Banana Bar watching a very happy drunk enjoying himself at the Hot Male Bar on the opposite side of the soi. He was dancing to the music and generally having a great time. At one point, a lady walked through the soi selling flowers that had been strung together in a loop. The drunken tourist purchased two, hung one on each ear, and returned to his dancing.
How did I know he was a tourist? While I can not speak with any authority on the subject, these particular flowers are used for religious and spiritual purposes. For example, I buy them to hang on the picture of Rama V in my room. Granted, the lady selling them knows full well any farang buying them in Soi Twilight has no understanding of their intended use. They don’t fault the farang, and are happy to make money from his ignorance.
When I first came to Thailand I bought several of these one day and hung them on all the door knobs in my room. I had a boy coming over and thought it would make for a nice romantic touch. Needless to say, the boy was not impressed. He didn’t say anything to me, but it was obvious from his reaction I’d done something wrong.
The other night I was at one of my favorite watering holes, with a couple of boys and a bottle. The waiter that usually takes care of us routinely brings some sort of snack to the table. I’m not sure if the waiter is buying it or its complements of the owner, or a little of each. More likely it’s the later, but either way I enjoy the kind gesture.
It’s always something different; rice chips, pork balls, or grilled squid are common offerings. This time the boy brought something very unusual. Covered in a layer of ice, I couldn’t tell if it was a meat or vegetable. Looking through the ice, the small bite sized pieces had a similar color and consistency as that of raw fish or chicken.
I ask what it was, and the boy said, “Dragon Eggs.” He then skewered a piece and held it to my mouth for a taste. As I began to eat he said, “Is vegetable.” I immediately recognized the tasted, and asked if it was an artichoke heart. The boy explained he didn’t know the western name for it, but the Chinese call them dragon eggs.
I described to the boys what an artichoke looks like, and they all agreed it was one in the same. Thus, I’m reasonably sure that’s what the waiter had served us. It’s easy to understand why the Chinese would call it a dragon egg, as it is round like an egg and has scales like a dragon.
The boy said the Japanese tourists pay through the nose for it in their restaurants here, and have no clue it’s actually very cheap to buy in Thailand. He explained when purchased, the man chops them open and removes the heart for you. I asked what a plate like this (approximately 20 pieces) would cost, and he said about 50 baht, roughly $1.50.
I love Thailand.
I had an interesting conversation with a boy I know that works in one of the Soi Twilight GoGo bars. He speaks English very well, so was able to articulate in great detail an interesting insight into the boys’ relationship with their mamasan, and captains.
I already knew a little bit about the first thing he told me. That is, the boys get penalized financially if they are late, or do not come to work at all. The penalty is all or part of the bar’s standard off fee, along with his daily 100 baht allowance. He also explained that while the boys do get 100 baht every day, provided they arrive at whatever specified time the bar sets, in his bar they don’t get paid if a customer offs them. The bar also doesn’t pay the boy if he owes it any off fees. So if a boy owes the bar 1500 baht, he won’t get paid for the next 15 days that he also does not get a customer. Instead, that money is taken to pay off what is owed to the bar.
Then he told me something I didn’t know anything about. If the boy owes the bar for fines, or the mamasan believes the boy is freelancing on the side, he will not “cheer” the boy. What this means is the mamasan will not recommend the boy to customers, and that represents a devastating blow to the boy’s income.
I am mindful of the fact this information comes from only one boy, but as of this writing I believe he was being candidly honest with me. I can not say with certainty it works the same way in all the bars, but for now I’m going to assume it does, at least in some similar fashion. Now that I’m aware of this, I’ll see if I can get confirmation form some other boys.
The boy also told me he’s freelanced in the past and not tried to hide it from his bar. He said it cost him for doing this, but the customers he went with were for a week or more and well worth it. However, I get the impression he had not taken into consideration his no longer getting cheered by the mamasan. The boy told me, as a result of his actions, he’s gone from being a super stare (big money maker) in his bar to one that has to fend for himself. His attitude about it seems somewhat rebellious, a trait so typical with youth in any culture. That or he’s just trying to cover up his embarrassment for being so foolish….or both.
Assuming everything the boy has told me is true, and I’m of the impression it is, I think farang should take into consideration the consequences of encouraging a boy to do something that will have a long-term impact on his income. These boys tend to make important decisions in the moment, without regard to the future. Every day is a struggle for them, and it’s not fair to put them in a position of having to make the right decision when they don’t know how they are going to feed themselves for the next week. Customers can negotiate with the mamasan a long-term discounted off fee. Then adjust down what they where going to pay the boy to off set the expense, assuming that’s even an issue. This will keep the boy, and you, in good standing with the bar.
Another thing to take into consideration when trying to cut the bar out of the deal is you’ve also relinquished any protection the bar might give you if the boy misbehaves. Granted, the level of protection varies from one bar to the next, and my also be dictated by the specifics of the situation, but its not lost on the boy he’ll have to answer to the mamasan if he gets out of line with a customer. Of course, if you cut mamasan out of the deal, the boy has no worries.
Recently I had a conversation with one of the Captains at X Boys (Soi Twilight) about their newly added Bangkok Massage. He told me some things about the place I wasn’t aware of, so perhaps others aren’t either.
This is a full service sex massage place with an important twist. A one boy, one hour massage cost 500 B to the house, and the minimum tip to the boy of 500 B. To the best of my knowledge, all the other full service places in Bangkok require a minimum of 1000 to the boy. When I heard this, the first thing that went through my mind was they are trying to attract both full service and dirty massage customers.
I do think the boys deserve more than the minimum, because you get more than what is offered at the traditional dirty massage places. For one thing, the boys get naked during the massage. They also accompany you into the shower, before and after, and bathe you from neck to toes. In addition, a large sponge is used to scrub you down in the second shower session…unfortunately it’s the same sponge they use on every customer.
Bangkok Massage occupies the second and third floors over X Boys, but I’ll refer to them as first and second floors from here on out. They did a nice job with the interior design of the place. It has an old world Asian feel, with lots of candles burning, music that sounds like traditional Japanese, and pleasant aromas in the air. In addition to private rooms (sort of) and one shower, the first floor has a waiting area, front desk, and Internet cafĂ©. The second level has more rooms and another shower.
The private rooms are actually cubicles, with walls that do not extend all the way to the ceiling. Unless you’re into listing, the problem with this is you can hear what’s going on in the rooms next to you. Each room has a locking door that the boy controls when he’s with a customer. Unfortunately the doors squeak, and many are difficult to open and close, resulting in a lot of noise. The music is turned up a bit louder than it should be for the atmosphere they are trying to create, but that’s probably being done to try and drown out the noise coming from adjoining rooms. The boys also have a bad habit of talking to each other over the walls. Specifically, my boy need more oil, so he called out to an attendant for some to be brought to the room.
Customers exchange their shoes for slippers in the waiting area and are then escorted to a private room where they and the boy disrobe and change into a bath towel. Once changed, the boy takes his customer to one of the two showers. If the shower is in use on your floor, the boy may opt to wait, or take you to the other shower. I know this because we were on the second level and waited for another boy and his customer to finish. The customer was an old and VERY feeble gentleman, who was then escorted back down the steep stairs to his room. I thought this was a bad call on the boy’s part, but maybe he had the customer’s permission.
The shower on the first level is much nicer and considerably more spacious than the one on the second level. I don’t know about the first floor shower, but on the second level the boy had difficulty maintaining a consistent water temperature, and was constantly making adjustments to keep me comfortable.
The boys do get training on how to give a good massage. I actually witnessed it in progress when my boy opened the training room door to say something to someone inside. I asked him if they were training, and he said, “Yes, boys testing now.” I selected a boy I’ve offed numerous times before, when he worked at solid bar. He told me they had trained him on how to give a massage, something he didn’t know how to do before starting at Bangkok Massage. He did a very good job, so I must conclude their training program is a good one.
Overall I was pleased with the experience. I spoke to the Captain at X Boys about the noisy doors and he agreed this was a valid complaint, saying “tic toc tic tok.” The manager of the massage facility is his best friend, so he told me he would talk to him about getting this fixed. It was a nice way to deliver a complaint without having to say it to the manager’s face.
I was just reading a thread over at the Sawatdee Gay Thailand Forum and it reminded me of something that is very easy for us older guys to forget. It was certainly a good wakeup call for me, as I was well on my way to losing sight of this all important fact.
For most of us in our forties or older, association with the younger generation is a thing of the past, particularly as it relates to sex and sexual relationships. If for no other reason, boys in their late teens and twenties will have nothing to do with us old farts. While we may have a sexual attraction, the feeling is mutual when it comes to relating on an intellectual level. That, combined with their lack of maturity tends to keep the two generations on separate paths.
Then we come to Thailand, and all these boys want to associate and have sex with us. They’ll even enter into a relationship and take care of our every need and want. All of which would be unheard of back home, and for good reason.
While vast numbers of Thai boys place little or no emphasis on age or looks, we need to remind ourselves they are still boys. It is very easy for us to mistakenly attribute cultural differences with what is really a simple case of immaturity. Boys will be boys any place you go in the world and culture has nothing to do with it. There are good boys and there are bad boys, but they are all just boys, with all the same trappings you can find in your own back yard.
I’ve never seen so many boys with scars, burns and disfigurements as with the Thais. I have no doubt it’s a similar situation in other developing countries, but this is the first time I’ve actually encountered it. I have learned that a great percentage of the injuries come from motorcycle accidents. They are apparently the number one cause of death in Thailand, as well. Even so, there are so many other things that happen to these boys while growing up its amazing they even survive.
Without any research I can conclude the Thai government gives less priority to safety and sanitation education/standards than we are accustomed to in the west. I’m also of the belief parents share little or nothing with their children of life lessons learned. One would think after so many children have been burned by boiling water or oil, precautions would be taken to prevent future disfigurements, but this doesn’t seem to be the case.
One of my greatest fears is accidentally getting pushed into a pot of boiling oil on the crowded lunch hour sidewalks of Bangkok. While I hold no animosity toward the street vendors, their total lack of concern for safety is something I find difficult to accept. Just today I saw a man remove the lid from a pot of boiling oil, and the steam went right in the face of a near by customer. The customer screamed and ran, and the vender laughed. Soon the customer was back making his purchase.
Every boy I’ve known thinks little of leaving food out on the counter all day and then eating it in the evening. I tell them to put it in the refrigerator, but they refuse claiming it will ruin the taste of the food. No consideration for sanitation is give to the cooking and eating areas either. They will take a rag to clean the floor and then use it to wipe down the kitchen counter and cutting board. Most won’t even wash their hands before touching or preparing food items.
I cringe every time I watch someone use a kitchen knife to cut up food items. I know one of these days a boy is going to slice open his hand or fingers. My efforts to educate the boys on safety go in one ear and out the other. So far, no blood has been spilled in my kitchen, but it’s only a matter of time.
A while back two boys were looking for something in the house they could cut at an angel to make it sharp for piercing their tongues. They were experimenting with a variety of objects, including a ball point pen. I forget what the ended up settling on. What ever it was I finally managed to convince them it needed to be soaked in rubbing alcohol before impaling themselves with it. I also mentioned it might be a good idea if they washed their hands first, something the boys hadn’t considered.
The boys were not ignorant of the risks involved. One had previously gotten a serious infection when attempting to pierce his eyebrow. The side of his face ballooned and his eye swelled shut, but he was right back at it once the infection had healed.
Thais don’t seem to learn from their mistakes very quickly. Most of us learn after the first time it’s a bad idea to stick your fingers in the fire, but Thais seem to require multiple encounters before it sinks in. I do not attribute this to lack of intelligence. These people certainly aren’t stupid. I sometimes think this idiosyncrasy, along with economics, are the two biggest reasons why little has been done to improve safety and sanitation standards in Thailand.
