Can I talk to you about… diarrhea?

Photo Courtesy of Gay Asian Network

I don’t know what the percentages are, but a lot of us living in Thailand experience frequent cases if mild diarrhea.  Even the boys get it and I don’t think it’s always associated with bacteria.  For me, it seems to be more closely tied with how spicy hot the food is.  I also know there is a leafy green plant used in some Thai dishes that is a natural diarrhetic.  In addition, I’ve read hot peppers, ginger, and curry tend act as diarrhetics.  It doesn’t seem to bother the boys.  Their reaction is its good for your body, because it cleans you out, and there is truth to that.

None the less, it can be annoying and even inconvenient at times, but as frequent as it occurs I was reluctant to make heavy, or prolonged use, of over the counter remedies.  Then I remembered that bananas, if eaten in excess, can cause constipation.  I think this came from some old survival training where we were warned not to eat too many bananas if marooned on a tropical island. So I decided to try eating one or two bananas a day, and sure enough it worked.

Photo Courtesy of Gay Asian Network

Later I was visiting with the doctor for a regular check up on my blood pressure.  He said in addition to the medication I’ve been taking I should try to lower my salt intake.  I told him it’s difficult for me, because I don’t know how Thai foods are prepared.  He then suggested I eat a banana a day, because they are high in potassium, and that neutralizes the salt on one’s diet, including salty fish sauce commonly used on Thai foods.  I told him I’d heard that MSG caused high blood pressure, and he said it does, because it’s in the salt family.  He went on to say that bananas would neutralize the MSG, as well.

Next I asked about taking potassium supplements, and he discouraged it.  He said you can accidentally get too much potassium in your diet using supplements and the body deals with the natural potassium in bananas much better.

So much for the familiar old saying, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

Photo Courtesy of Gay Asian Network

MORE ON MSG

Someone is probably going to comment on it, so let me just say I know there are other health concerns regarding the use of MSG in food preparation.  While I’m on the subject…

For those that don’t know it, MSG is used extensively in the preparation of food here in Thailand.   Restaurant owners wanting to offer an MSG free menu find it exceedingly difficult to get their cooks to stop using it.

A boy once told me that one must use MSG sparingly or risk excessive hair loss.  My first though was someone had told him this rather than going into detail about the side affects of chemotherapy treatment.  Come to find out, there is a common myth, even in America, that MSG causes your hair to fall out.

Best I can determine, the Thai name for MSG is phong churot.

A farang friend was telling me about this and I checked with a couple of boys who agreed and added all Thais say this.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

If the television is on and the boy is awake, he is watching the TV.  However, if the boy falls asleep with the TV on, then it is watching him.

FRIEND FOR LIFE

I was reminded of this when a reader posted in comments some of the 14 different levels of Thai friendship.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

Awhile back I and a boy living with me had some sort of conflict develop. I can’t remember the exact circumstances, but it had something to do with him choosing a friend’s needs over mine.  Considering I was taking care of this boy financially I felt like he had his priorities screwed up.  So I asked him, “Who is more important, your friend or me?”  Without any thought at all he answered, “My friend.”  I asked him, “Why is this?”  He said, “Because he is my friend for life.”

Be careful what you ask, as the answer might be brutally honest.

BAD BREATH

A reader asked the following…
“I have some very good friends but unfortunately many of them have very bad breath. Even after cleaning teeth with toothpaste and then a mouthwash rinse doesn’t fix the problem. Have you encountered this and if so do you know how to fix the problem?”

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

I have experienced this many times with the boys, and it’s always the same odor.  Clearly it’s caused by something in their diet.  My chief suspect is ginger root, a common ingredient in many of the Thai soup dishes.  While it’s used during cooking you are not necessarily supposed to eat it, but a lot of the boys do.

Another thing to consider is some of the food items used in Thai dishes are stringy and easily get lodged between teeth.  While many use less effective tooth picks, most boys do not floss.

Also keep in mind a large percentage of the boys are in serious need of dental work, and very likely the culprit for some of the boys’ bad breath problems.

I don’t have any suggestions on how to remedy this.  Perhaps placing some breath mints in your mouth and then swapping them back and fourth during kissing will help, something I’ve not tried.

When it comes to the GoGo bars I’ve always assumed the boys do not have the option of refusing a customer.  Recently I discovered that’s not necessarily true.  This surfaced from a debate I was having with a farang friend who believed the opposite.  We both agreed this required further investigation, and here’s what we’ve discovered so far.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

I talked to a boy that has worked in several Pattaya GoGo bars and he said, for the most part, boys can refuse customers, with two exceptions.  All of the boys “of questionable age” must go with the customer, because “they don’t want any problem.” Also boys that have done something wrong and gotten into trouble with the mamasan are often told they can not refuse a customer.  He went on to say that while most of the boys can refuse a customer, it’s an option best used sparingly, or risk getting the boot.  I would also assume that with business as slow as it is, beggars can’t be choosy.

Another boy told me he went to Pattaya with a farang customer.  While there the farang rented him a separate room and boy for the night.  The first boy he selected refused to go with him and got back up on stage.  He then selected a different boy who did go to the room with him for sex.  After sex they went to the beach for a romantic sun rise while fishing for squid…to each their own I guess.

In the mean time, my friend asked the new mamasan at Hot Male what their policy was.  She said boys can not reject customers there, or at X Boys (both bars now owned by the same person).  My friend said this is not conclusive, because he might have been told what she thought he wanted to hear.  My friend had previously mentioned that another bar in Soi Twilight uses a standard line to explain why a boy can not go with the customer. One that does not make him feel rejected by the boy.  Using that information he rationalized the mamasan at Hot Male might have been trying to avoid the notion any boy can reject a customer.

A while back I was seeing a boy regularly from Talent Bar, one of the Saphan Kwai host bars.  He told me that of the bars in that area Talent was the only one that would let him reject customers, and that’s why he preferred to work there.  He was also the super star of that bar, so I can’t help but wonder if this was negotiated.  I do suspect that’s the case with some boys, but have not been able to verify it.

Best I can determine, the boys working in Pattaya and Silom host bars have the right to refuse a customer, but I’ve never actually tried to confirm it.   One manager told me she could not risk having all her boys offed by customers, because then she would have to wait on the tables herself, and this is why she keeps a couple of straight boys on staff.  Of course, the “real” straight boys can, and will, refuse a customer.

I did have a boy reject me in one of the BKK Soi 6 bars, but I was asking for a full body massage and sex, and he said he was too tired for that.  A couple of weeks later the boy took me up on the offer, so I have to believe he was telling the truth. None the less, in this bar boys can reject a customer.

So what I’ve concluded so far is it depends on the bar, and perhaps the boy.  This is a difficult one to get nailed down, because the bars and boys don’t like talking about it.  For now, I’ll consider this one an on-going research project.

I’ve just added this to the Thai Names page.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

One of the things I find interesting and fun to do is translate the boy’s nicknames.  This isn’t always easy, because while the boys know what their name means, they don’t always poses the English skills to tell you.  But with the help of an on-line translator, the boys can often get you an answer.  Another way to get the translation is to ask one boy with good English skills what another boy’s nickname means.  Here are some examples:

Chit = near
Nok = bird
Ton or Dton = tree
Chai = victory, triumph, win, or success
Sak - power or status

One of the other things I learned is that properly spoken, the nickname may actually be two words, but because it’s a nickname they shorten it to just one.  A good example would be dton maai, shortened to Dton, which sounds like Ton.

Thais also use English words and numbers for nicknames, but pronunciation can often render some interesting results.

For the longest time I thought the boy that takes care of me at Banana Bar was named Wan or Juan.  Only recently I discovered his name is actually One.

A boy I hang out with regularly has the English nickname Little.  The boys can’t pronounce Little too well, so they shorten it to Tle, that somehow ends up being pronounced Dtun, which sounds like Tun.  So when you ask the boys what his name is, those with good English skills will say Little, but all of them actually call him Dtun.  There are many Thai words for the word little, such as “iat” and “nit”, but Dtun is apparently not one of them.

English names might also get shortened.  The nickname of a boy I know is Pancake, but all the boys just call him Cake.

Here’s a collection of short one paragraph stories I thought might be of interest.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

Last Saturday the BF and I went to the MBK Mall for a movie and dinner.  In route we encountered a group of boys that had gathered to talk at the base of the escalators leading up to the floor with all the cinemas.  In typical Thai fashion they decided to stand right in front of the escalators, creating a bottle neck for those trying to come and go in the crowded mall.  Once again I commented to the BF how this sort of thing really annoys me.  He said, and I paraphrase, “It’s OK this time, because the boys are all cute and I like rubbing up against them.”  I suspect he was just trying to make light of the situation, because he gets tired of hearing my bitching about this one idiosyncrasy of Thais that totally bugs the hell out of me.

The BF and I needed to make a run into Thonburi last Sunday afternoon.  While there we decided to stop at the shopping mall and pick up a couple of items.  As the taxi pulled in front of the mall he didn’t stop.  Instead the driver continued on past the mall before pulling over to the curb.  The BF questioned his actions and I later found out what was going on.  The police had taken over the lane we needed to get into for a stop.  They were using the lane to pull over motorcycles and inspect for violations.  The taxi driver explained if he had attempted to stop there the police would have given him a ticket and he would have lost his entire day’s earnings.  We had both noticed all the police, but neither of us realized what was going on.  Had I been alone I’m sure my reaction to the driver’s actions would have been negative.  Fortunately the BF was there to sort it out.  This incident served as yet another reminder; things are not always as they appear.  Don’t be too quick to assume someone is intentionally trying to do you wrong.

Yesterday a boy that works in one of the GoGo bars came over for a “visit”.  He is very intelligent, speaks good English, and tends to be uncharacteristically frank about life working in the bars. At one point he was saying that his bar had a lot of new boys.  I asked if that was hurting him for getting customers.  He said he’d just returned from a month visiting with family, so a lot of the customers thought he too was new.  The boy went on to say, when asked, he tells them he’s new and has only been working in the bars for three days.  He also tells them he’s never had sex before and would like a good teacher.  I asked him if the customers really believe his story, and he said, “Many customers are stupid.”

Last week the BF was sent on an assignment to video tape an interview with some Thai super star celebrity.  The interview took place at one of the 5 star hotels down on the river.  I can’t remember the name of it, but it’s the one with the dome restaurant on top.  The hotel had prepared a meal for the celebrity, which he had declined to eat.  So rather than go to waste, it was offered to the BF.  He told me it was a 2000 baht Australian beef dish prepared by the hotel’s celebrity UK chef that had worked before in Hollywood.  He then said the food was no good and that he thought HiSo people must think food is good if they pay big money for it.  So there you have it, straight from Bangkok’s very own Isan food critic.

This is one I’ll be adding to the next Thai English page update, but it’s so important I’m doing a more detailed post now.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

The other morning, just before leaving for work, the BF asked me if I had any plans for the evening.  I told him I hadn’t given it any thought yet.  He said OK call me later, and added he could stay out late because he had noting going on the next day.

I didn’t give it another thought, until he messaged me around 3pm asking the same question.  I answered that I didn’t know and we could talk about it when he got home from work.  At the time I was having coffee with a farang friend and told him I knew what was going on.  The BF and his friends were planning to go out drinking that night, but first wanted to know if I was going out, as it would be free for them.  If you are around the boys for any length of time you get used to this sort of thing.  They think they’re being clever, when in fact I know exactly what’s going on.  Its kind of funny to watch.

When the BF gets home from work nothing is mentioned about what plans I might have for the evening.  This tells me they’ve already decided to go out to the Thai 4 Thai club without me.  So I decide to tease him a little about it, and he adamantly insists my assumptions are ill founded.  I say, “Oh sure…in little bit one of your friends will call with idea to go disco…big surprise…yes?”  He smiles but holds his ground.  A couple of minutes later one of his friends shows up at the door dressed in his best disco garb and sporting a new fancy hair style.

At this point I walk over and dance a little jig around the BF with a big grin on my face.  His friend, now primping hair in front of the mirror, asks what’s going on.  I explain to him what the BF and I had been talking about just before he arrived.  He came right back saying yes my BF had called him earlier in the day about going to the disco.  This, of course, was followed by some vigorous Thai chatter between the two boys. And I went back to dancing.

You see, the message at 3 was to get closure on the plans, because his friend wasn’t about to spend money on his hair if we were only going to Silom, a conclusion I reached the minute his friend walked in the door.

Next I say to the boys, “I’m not stupid you know.”  Both immediately chimed in assuring me, in a serious tone, that they knew I was not stupid.  It was obvious to me they were very concerned about my suggesting they thought I was stupid.

So with everything out in the open, the BF decides he needs to get his hair done, and the two whisk out the door for a quick makeover at the hair shop.  While they were out it suddenly dawned on me stupid means something very different to the boys.  This had been explained to me a long time ago, but for whatever reason it never stuck.

At least with us Americans, stupid is often used in place of naïve.  We also use it to suggest someone is, in a particular situation, not being very smart about something.  The boys, on the other hand, interpret stupid as being mentally deficient, or perhaps even ill.  Things like idiot, extremely slow, slow-witted, brainless, embarrassingly awkward, doltish, and dunce come to mind.  Thus, it’s not a very nice thing to say, or be accused of suggesting.

To make it more complicated, you can not replace “stupid” with “not smart”, because smart usually means sharp to the boys - great, cool, excellent, outstanding, exceptional, stylish, cool, elegant, enchanting, graceful, handsome, good looking, attractive, sharp featured, charming, and pretty.  Sharp, on the other hand, is more likely to be interpreted as brilliant, keen, clever, shrewd, smart, or astute.

The boys don’t understand naïve, so instead of “I’m not stupid” you might try something like “I know about this already” or “You think I don’t know about this.”

I had another post planned for today, but something happened last night I want to talk about.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

I was sitting at the Banana Bar and noticed a fat old farang sitting a couple of tables down from me in the company of a boy.  I can’t put the reasons why into words, but this guy was giving off a persona of being someone who fancied him self important, in an arrogant sort of way.

At one point I noticed him buying some lottery tickets for the boy.   After handing the boy his tickets the farang tossed some money on the lady’s tray and went back to talking with the boy.  It was like, “Here is your money peasant woman, now be gone with yourself.”

Later the boy left and the farang started flirting with a boy working at the Hot Male annex.  A little later he moves to a table over at Hot Male and buys the boy a drink.  Then he starts groping another boy working there, as he walks by.  Not just any grope, mined you.  He was grabbing the boy right in the crotch.  All the boys are laughing and smiling and giving this guy lots of attention, suggesting nothing is wrong.

One of the boys working at Banana Bar had sat next to me and I commented to him about what was going on.  I told him I’d never think of doing something like that to a boy.  The boy’s only response was, “He have big money.”  I asked if this guy lives here, or is he a tourist.  The boy told me he lives here.  I was also informed the farang can speak Thai.

Next thing I know the boy this guy was originally flirting with had left the table and the one getting groped had taken his place.  Shortly after the farang got up and left, best I can tell, without tipping any of the boys.  I wish I had a camera to capture the look that came over all the boys’ faces after he departed the soi.  It was very depressing.

This is the kind of guy that gives us a bad reputation.  To the unaware it looks like the boys are enjoying this guy, but truth be known, they all have total contempt for him.      These are boys that have opted to work in a host bar, because they don’t want to parade on stage in their underwear.  They rarely get offed and the turnover is quite high.  Most of their money comes from tips and customers buying them drinks.  So when a rich guy like this walks in, the boys fall all over themselves eager to catch a crumb.  It’s all being played out in a public area, and others watching get the false impression his actions are acceptable.

Those that are conducting themselves properly don’t stand out in a crowd.  Thus, no one ever learns from them.

One of the things I’ve noticed over the years is the boys are pretty consistent with how they dress for bed, particularly when sleeping where they live.

Most boys shower in the evening before going to bed.  Some also shower again in the morning.  Underwear and boxers are usually changed in the evening, but if showering again in the morning they will often wait until then to put on a fresh set.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

With rare exception the boys always sleep wearing a shirt.  It’s usually some sort of T-shirt, often one they would not be seen wearing in public, but “good enough for sleeping.”  Another popular option is a tank top shirt, significant because most boys don’t consider them good fashion unless one has a muscular physic.  It’s funny, because most farang find tank tops appealing when worn by the skinny boys.  Once the boys discover this, they are all about wearing tank tops in public, provided their interest is in looking good to farang.

If sleeping over someplace, like with a farang customer, some boys will opt to go shirtless in order to keep their shirt from wrinkling.  Some of the boys wear an under shirt (T-shirt or tank top) and use it for sleeping in.  On rare occasions I’ve had boys sleep with the shirt they came in, even if it’s a button down.  If staying at a Thai friend’s room, they usually barrow a shirt for sleeping.  On the rare occasion a boy does not wear boxers, he’ll also barrow a pair of those for sleeping and hanging out in his friend’s room.  Boys never walk around the room or sleep in just their underwear.

I learned a long time ago to keep some T-shirts and boxers for the boys.  They are always appreciative of this, and I have to believe impressed that I am aware and sensitive to their bed time and room lounging needs.

Some boys will sleep naked after having sex with a farang, probably because they know most of us like it.  Others will not, unless instructed to, something a lot of farang apparently do, but I will not.  If the boy is uncomfortable sleeping naked, you don’t score any points with him by forcing it.

I usually wake up before the boy does, so if he is sleeping naked I make sure his underwear is easy to find and within reach before getting out of bed.  I assume this courtesy is not lost on the boy.

Paying attention to the small details is one way to separate you from the pack.

I’ve just added a page that talks about the importance of doing things the boys enjoy.  For most, sitting at the Balcony Pub all night drinking whisky is not one of them.  The new page offers several ideas for alternative activities the boys might prefer.  I finished writing the page a few days ago, so I’m adding another example from last night.  First let me explain that yesterday was a very important Buddhist holiday.  The following is a description I copied from another web site.

Makabucha Day
This day is a religious public holiday. It came from the day when 1250 disciples from the Lord Buddha gathered to listen for the Dharma speech after Buddha’s enlightenment. Merit making ceremonies take place at temples, while at night candlelit processions walk three times around the temple (one time for the Lord Buddha, one time for the Sangha - Buddhist monk community, one time for the Dharma - Buddhist teachings).

This is also a day when everyone is supposed to abstain from consuming alcohol.

Of course, the BF wanted to visit a temple and participate in the above described ceremony, and it was no surprise he also wanted one of his good friends to go along.  So it started out as the two boys and myself, but when all was said and done the friend had brought along his straight roommate and one of his three giks (fuck buddies).

As I was the lone farang in the bunch it was on me to pick up the tab for the evening.  I decided to give the BF some money and told him to take care of everything.  This was done mostly to avoid any potential embarrassment for the boys, as onlookers might conclude the fat old farang was out with his harem of money boys.

The boys decided they wanted to go to Wat Arun, a popular tourist attraction located on the river near the Grand Palace. So we took the BTS to Saphan Tasksin and hopped on a river taxi that carried us up stream to a location directly across the river from Wat Arun.  There we crossed the river by ferry to a docking point right next to the wat.

While I do find participating in Buddhist ceremonies interesting this wasn’t all that exciting for me as I’d already done it before, at the same wat.  Even so, the purpose of this outing was to do something the boys would enjoy, and they were having a blast.  I just tagged along and took pictures.

After we finished at the wat, the boys were hungry, so it was decided we should go to China Town for some street food.  Why we went to China Town for this I don’t know, but it’s what the boys wanted, so off we went.  After dinner we flagged a taxi for the ride back to my condo.  Guess who gets the front seat when it’s one fat farang and four skinny Thai boys?

I climb into the front and put my seat belt on, while the boys are still horsing around and playing grab ass, so by the time I closed my door gik was just getting into the back seat.  Completely unaware his hand was on the center post of the car I ended up closing my door on his fingers.  All of the sudden he starts screaming bloody murder, but being the loud mouth, drama filled, obnoxious queen that he is I thought this was just more silliness on his part.  Then the BF jumped in and asked me to open my door and release the boys’ fingers.  While it was completely unintentional I took the incident as poetic justice, because this boy had been annoying me all evening.  The drama continued the entire trip home, with him repeating jep (hurt or pain) over and over.  Interestingly enough all the other boys just laughed at him.

Once home the BF and I went to the 7 eleven and purchased ice and Tylenol to treat the little imp’s injury. In the mean time, the others were outside buying some squid to snack on.

In the room, and with gik’s fingers on ice, the boys settled into raiding the refrigerator, watching Thai soap operas, and surfing the internet.  I opened a bottle of Leo beer, sat in a corner and observed.

A couple of hours later, all the visiting boys decided it was time to call it an evening.  As gik left I again apologized for smashing his fingers and assured him in a couple of days he could jack off again.  He laughed and said, “No problem, I use other hand.”

From the left - str8 boy, gik, BF, friend

Most evenings “for the boys” go better than this for me, but that’s okay, it was their night, not mine.  Although, as bad as it sounds I have to admit, smashing the little bugger’s fingers did have its moment of sadistic joy.