Thais have a rather graphic way of making comment about someone who speaks negatively on something, but then turns around and embraces it.  A good example would be if I told my friends that a particular model of cell phone was not good and I would never own one.  Then a little later they see I’ve purchased one.

While they probably would not say it in front of me, my friends reaction might be to say, “He spits on the ground and then licks it up.”  We often speak of someone having to eat his own words.  It can be used in a broader range of circumstances, and isn’t nearly as repulsive, but I find the similarity interesting.

I’ll bet you though I’d forgotten about this.  I decided to get caught up on a few things I wanted to talk about, before they got lost.  The list of things I have to write about keeps getting bigger and bigger, so I’ll be sticking a few of those in between the last few chapters of our trip to Korat.

Bung Talau Lake

Anyway, I left off with our departure from Leo’s aunt’s home in route to Bung Talau Lake.  All I knew about that day was we’d be going to see the dam, and from there some place that has a nice view and is a good place to eat good cheap food and relax.

It was about an hour drive to the dam, with one pee stop along the way.  The boys also stocked up on drinks and snacks.  I wasn’t exactly sure why they were buying all this stuff, but kept my nose out of it.

Bung Talau Lake Dam

The dam, it self, wasn’t that impressive.  I was surprised at how small it is compared to the huge body of water it holds.  I would not be surprised to learn that there are actually several dams to keep all the water contained, maybe someone more familiar with its engineering knows.

We didn’t stay long, mostly because there’s not much to look at, and the ladies needed to pee.  So everyone climbed back in the car and headed out for the next stop.  I noticed some bathrooms as we were leaving, but Leo said they were not good enough and the ladies would wait.  Once back on the main road, we headed back in the direction of Korat.  It wasn’t but a few kilometers and we turned off on to a small road.  We immediately came to what Americans call a weekend swap meet or flea market.  It is a place people gather to sell mostly used items.  I thought this might be our next stop, but we continued on past it and soon I could see the lake.

The first thing I noticed was dozens of small bamboo huts scattered along the lake shore, some actually built over the water and others up on land.  As we got closer, Leo told me this was a resort.  Now I had already come to realize it doesn’t take much to label something a resort in Thailand, and this was a good example.  While there are plenty of 4 and 5 star resorts closer to Korat, this is one place of choice for the locals.  It is actually more similar to what we in America would call a lake side recreational area, or park.

Our Hut

As we drove further into this place the boys started looking for a nice hut to stake a claim on.  All of the huts out on the water were occupied, so they selected one further up the hill that also had a nice shade for the car.  I asked how much it costs to rent one of the huts and Leo explained they are free, but you are expected to buy food and drink from the establishment that owns them.  Much like the beach chairs in Pattaya, there were several operators, each with their own collection of huts.  Every hut was designed a little different, but most up on shore had a large table with chairs and a bed for taking a lazy afternoon nap.

We did notice a few groups that had elected to spread a blanket on the ground and eat the food they brought with them.  Leo jokingly, and quietly, scoffed at them saying it was silly when everything is so cheap.  Spoken like a true middle class snob, I think.

Better look at an interior with bed to left.

It wasn’t long after moving into the hut we had selected that a girl walked down form the main building to take our order.  Drinks and several dishes were ordered, and while we were waiting for them to arrive all the snacks purchased earlier came out.  I also discovered some leftovers from lunch that day had been packed for the trip, and they were added to the mix.  In the mean time both ladies made their way to the toilet for a much needed pee.  The drinks came first, which included sodas and Leo beer.  Soon after, food began to arrive, and the feast began.  As Leo had promised, the food was very good.

More food was on the way.

After eating I kicked back to relax and enjoy the surroundings.  It was then that I recalled telling Leo, before leaving on this trip, that I wanted to see things the locals enjoy.  I’m not big on the tourist traps, preferring to experience what people living in the area like to see and do.  Leo really came through on this one, as it was exactly the experience I was hoping for.

Leo’s 12 year old cousin eventually made his way down to the water, and after awhile returned soaking wet.  Mom told him to take his pants off, and for the remainder of the day he was just in his shirt and underwear.  Back home a kid his age wouldn’t think of walking around in his jockeys, but in Thailand it was no big thing.

After several hours of eating, drinking and relaxation it was time to head out for our final destination of the day.  I think this last stop got added on to the agenda when we passed it in route to the lake.  You can’t miss it from the highway, and when I ask Leo what it was he said we would be going there later…a typical Thai less than informative answer.  This next stop is also where I learned some important things about Leo’s view of the Buddhist faith.  As it turns out he’s quit jaded.

While walking around you may notice the occasional plate of food, often with drink, on the ground or possibly a short sitting stool.  If not familiar with this one might question why someone has abandoned their perfectly good meal.  Actually, by the time you encounter it, the meal probably isn’t perfectly good any more, as it’s been sitting out for several hours and the ants or pigeons have most likely invaded.

Taken outside the gate to a home

If you step back and examine the setting, you’ll probably notice the place is outside the gated entry to a home, condo or apartment complex.  They are also common outside places of business.  So why would people intentionally place a plate of food outside the entrance to their property?

This is food for the ghosts.  First it’s important to understand ghosts and spirits are not the same.  I don’t know enough to explain exactly what the differences are, but best I can determine ghosts used to be living mortals while spirits have never walked the earth in human form.   In addition, specific beliefs about feeding the ghosts vary from one to the next, so it is impossible to cover them all.  In Leo’s words there are a million different beliefs.  He may have been exaggerating a bit.

In any case, there are two common examples I’m familiar with.  One is to place food outside a restaurant to feed the ghosts passing by on the street.  This will hopefully make them happy and in return they’ll invite “living” guests in.  Another is to set the food outside a gated entry, to a place people live, in hopes the ghosts will not go inside foraging for a meal.

This is just a superficial overview, so you’ll have a general understanding.  As I said, the beliefs and practices associated with feeding the ghosts are wide ranging.

One day in Pattaya, while sitting in the Bamboo Bar, I observed a man stop and down the drink that was on a plate the establishment had placed out front.  The drink was in a shot glass and looked like either whiskey or tea.  The man that drank it looked like he lived on the streets and was most likely suffering from a mental health disability.  Who knows, maybe the man thought he was a ghost and nobody could see him.

I wrote once before about the importance of keeping a promise with the boys.  It was in the context of farang/Thai interactions, but like many things the same holds true when it’s Thai/Thai.  Here is a good example.

The other night I decided to go out with a group of boys AND girls to the popular G Star Thai 4 Thai disco.  When I announced to the group I’d be going along I added that my contribution for the evening would be taxi fare and 1000 baht toward drinks.

Leo

Later in the evening a third bottle was ordered and I decided to kick in another thousand.  Now I didn’t actually say I was giving all 1000, so it could be construed that I was just paying for the bottle.  This becomes important later.

The next day, Princess, who had been managing the finances for the previous evening, contacted Leo and told him his share was 400 baht.  It is typical for a group of Thais to go out together and share the costs of the evening, but in this case I had paid 2000, almost two thirds of the entire evening’s bill.  On top of that I was of the opinion Leo and I were to be treated as one, particularly since I had paid so much. Leo said that’s how it works for Little and O, but in this case he had told Princess he would share in the cost.  Leo though I had only paid for the bottle, rather than contributing another 1000, and this is why he told Princess he would share, as mixers (soda coke and ice) still had to be paid for.

I said to Leo that’s all well and good, but the reality is I gave all 1000 and did not expect any change back.  Leo explained that he didn’t know that at the time and told Princess he’d share so he must honor that commitment.  I stood my ground saying that he should explain to Princess the situation and not pay the 400.  He said it didn’t make any difference, as he had said he would pay and now he must do so.  It would be wrong of him to do otherwise.

I’m just hitting the high points of a conversation that when on for an extended period.  The gist of it being that no matter what logic I presented, regardless of how sound it was, the bottom line is Leo had made a commitment that he could not renege on.  At some point in the discussion I had revealed that I didn’t actually tell Princess I was giving him the full 1000, so Leo called Princess and said he would pay him the 400, but wanted to know if I would be getting my 400 baht in change back from the 1000 I gave to buy the bottle.  Princess immediately said of course he would be giving me my change.

Now I think Princess knew exactly what Leo was up to, but it didn’t make any difference. I’ve noticed, on many different occasions, that it doesn’t matter so much what the truth of the situation is.  As long as things are packaged correctly no fault will be found.  Another perspective on this could be that it was an indirect way of pointing out Leo had made the commitment without the understanding I was contributing another 1000.  In other words, Princess could not have it both ways, but at the same time Leo did not actually back out of his commitment.  So Leo DID pay the 400, but it was a wash, because Princess would need to give me the same.  This was a non confrontational resolution that also saved face for both Leo, and Princess.

So this story is actually about more than the importance of keeping a promise.  It is an example of how Thais deal with potentially unpleasant situations, allowing all parties to walk away happy and with their reputations untarnished.

There was a time when I would have insisted Leo, or any other boy, deal with the situation my way, but I’ve learned its best to let Thais sort these things out on their own.  This was the first time I’ve actually had the opportunity to observe a situation play out in such detail.  It was quite interesting to watch.

A reader asked the following questions…

“How about something about Songkran and Gay Pride ? There has been mention about “Farangs” in Thailand. How about other Asians like Singaporeans and Japanese in Thailand and how the Thais respond to them? I hope you won’t mind my suggestions.”

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

I did a brief piece about the Songkhran festival back in December.  I don’t have much more to say about the event, other than its one week out of the year I stay close to home.  In my opinion it has gotten way out of control.  I guess it’s a novelty for those visiting, but I’m probably not alone in the feelings of a westerner living here that Songkhran festivities are mostly an annoyance.  In my opinion, if they went back to the more traditional gentile poring of water on hands and shoulders it would be a charming season.

Gay Pride is celebrated here in BKK, and other farang frequented cities, such as Pattaya and Phuket.  In Bangkok, the celebrations are mostly, but not exclusively, hosted by the big bars in Silom Soi 4, namely Telephone and Balcony.  This is also where the majority of festivities take place.  They used to have a Gay Pride parade here in Bangkok, but the last one was in 2006.  I’ve never made an effort to find out why the parade was discontinued, and won’t speculate on it publicly.

In response to the question about how Thais relate to those from neighboring countries, my observations are limited mostly to the statements and reactions made by the boys.  Japan and Korea set the standards for all that is trendy in Thailand, at least from the youth perspective.  Of the two, Korea tops the popularity charts.  Any time the boys have an opportunity to meet a younger Japanese or Korean, they get very excited.  I never hear anything said, one way or the other, about Singaporeans.  My impression is they are viewed much like we in America do our Canadian neighbors.  Nothing is ever said about the Cambodians or Vietnamese, and compared to the numbers from other Asian countries you don’t see a lot of them visiting Thailand.

Laos was once part of Thailand, and the two cultures are very similar, including language, which is almost identical to the Isan dialect.  Due mostly to their political environment, I suspect, Laotians are much more conservative than their Thai counterparts, but that is rapidly changing.  I’ve noticed a lot of Lao boys try to pass them selves off as being Thai.  I’m not sure why this is, but it may simply be an issue regarding immigration violations.  Thai and Lao can cross the border for 24 hours without a visa, so illegal Laotian immigrants are common in Thailand. I get the subtle impression there is a bit of an “us and them” attitude on the part of Thais toward Laotians.  It may be a social class thing, or it could be that I am completely misinterpreting it.  I’ve not spent any time actually trying to investigate this.

Chinese culture is heavily integrated into Thai, and there are a lot of Chinese Thai citizens in Thailand.  I don’t know what the actual numbers are, but Chinese Thai are known for having a higher percentage of wealthy, compared to other Thais.  This is not my area of expertise, but it appears to me that China is at a similar stage of development as the post WWII industrialization of Japan.  I remember a time when we Americans would refer to the products made in Japan as cheap copies, and that reputation seems to be prevalent now with Thais toward Chinese imports.  My observations are only superficial, but I get the impression there is an “us and them” attitude toward Chinese.  I don’t know very much about the Chinese culture, but it would not surprise me to learn they don’t share the same attitude as Thais regarding avoidance of confrontation.  I do know this is the case with those from Hong Kong, but that’s the same as comparing apples to oranges.  The Chinese have a reputation for being stingy with their money, so when Soi Twilight is filled with Chinese tourists the boys know its not going to be a good night for them.

I’m really speaking out of school on much of this, but I’m sure there are plenty of readers, with more expertise on that subject, that will be happy to offer their views.  It is much easier to get people’s opinion on a subject when you put something out there for them to react to.

And if all of this is a bore, there is the traditional photo of another cute Thai boy to enjoy.

Last Wednesday I took note of the rather unique date (9-9-9) and didn’t give it much thought after.  I had to run some errands around Bangkok that day, and while walking around noticed tributes to the King going up in front of commercial buildings.  This told me there was something special going on for the King, but I had no idea what it was.  I also noticed a lot of people carrying beautiful flower arrangements, the kind one usually gives as a gift.  I assumed the two were related, but still had no clue what was going on.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

That evening I forgot to ask Leo about it, and didn’t think to ask the next morning before he left for work.  Later the next day Princess came by, and I asked him what was special about Wednesday for the King.  He said 999, an all too common Thai short and uninformative answer.  So I asked if he could expand on his response.  He then explained that in Thailand the number 9 is considered lucky, and so logically the ninth day of the ninth month of the ninth year was a very lucky day.  He said, because of this everyone wanted to send their best wishes to the King.  I forgot to ask about the flowers, but later got a hint as to what that was all about.

Next I asked Princess if 9 was the only lucky number for Thais.  He said no, 7 and 8 are also lucky numbers.  He added that 8 actually has its origin in Japanese culture, but because there are so many Thai/Japanese mixed marriages it has been adopted in Thailand, as well.  I then asked if there are any unlucky numbers, and he said 3 and 4.

I try to get confirmation on these things from more than one source, so today at lunch I asked Leo, without letting him know I already had the answer.  At first he wasn’t too forthcoming, but after a few attempts I got out of him that the day was very special, because of all the nines.  And that everyone wanted to wish the King well on this very special day.  Then he added it was also a very popular day for marriages, with a lot of couples planning their wedding ceremony for nine minutes after nine o’clock on the ninth.  This, I suspect, explains all the flower arrangements I saw people carrying. He added that a special song was sung for the King at nine o’clock.

Next I asked what other numbers are considered lucky and after a little thought Leo said 8, but didn’t know of any others or the Japanese connection.  In addition, Leo had no idea what numbers are considered unlucky.  He said people that believe in such things would know, and then asked if we could change the subject.

This was yet another example of the differences between Leo and Princess, one a middle class urban boy and the other rural low class.  I have notice, particularly with the younger generations, a big difference in beliefs, as it relates to most superstitions.  Those in the urban middle and upper classes tend to dismiss these notions, while the rural village boys generally put stake in them.  I suspect with older generations the divide isn’t as great, but I’ve not had many opportunities to compare.

Pragmatic as he is, Leo isn’t without his superstitions.  In particular, he’s quick to embrace systems based on the expectation of good luck when selecting lottery numbers.  He thinks I am lucky at picking winning numbers, largely because I did the first time he asked.  Unfortunately my selection was not available, so he purchased tickets with different numbers.  He read some article about a child that consistently picks winners, and thinks I may poses the same gift.  So far I’ve not been able to repeat this amazing talent, but Leo keeps coming back…insisting I am lucky.

Day three (Sunday) was another full day, this time with family members.  First item on the agenda was to stop and pick up lunch before heading to Leo’s house.  I was amazed at how he knows about all these little food shops scattered around the central area, each with its own specialty.  I think we ended up making 4 separate stops to get everything Leo wanted.  One shop for chicken, another for noodles, and so on.

At the last stop, Leo suggested I just wait in the car.  He left the motor running and A/C on so I’d be comfortable.  While waiting for him to return I watched a guy in a small pickup truck rear-end a Toyota like the one I was sitting in.  The guy wasn’t moving very fast at all, so I was surprised at the damage it did to the Toyota.  His truck, on the other hand, appeared to have made it through this incident without so much as a scratch.  The man driving the truck got out first, with a predictable big smile on his face.  The lady in the Toyota was not smiling, but no harsh words were spoken.  They just pulled to the side and did whatever Thais do after an accident.

Leo soon returned, with yet another bag of food and we headed for his family home. Dad was at work, and younger brother just getting out of the shower when we arrived.  Mom brought out some serving dishes and eating utensils and Leo dumped everything from the plastic bags on or into serving plates and bowls.  For those that aren’t aware, food purchased for take out, at small family run restaurants, is almost always placed in small plastic bags and tied at the opening with a rubber band. Occasionally you will find places that put food in styrofoam boxes, but it’s extremely rare.

Source: Dish A Day Blog

Leo’s home has plenty of room for a kitchen and dinning area, but the space is not used for them.  The only thing that resembles a kitchen is a small refrigerator with a microwave on top.  Everyone eats from the coffee table in the front living area.  If a table and chairs are to be used, they’ll be set up outside, as was the case with the BBQ the night before.

After lunch we (Leo, Brother, Mom and I) drove over to his Aunt’s new 1.2 million baht home.  The home is in a new housing development, one of many in this suburb of Korat.  I was very impressed with what approximately 35 thousand dollars will buy.  It is a very nice three bedroom, 2 bath, home.  The property is completely surrounded by a stucco covered brick wall with gated driveway entrance.  It has a nice covered front porch, huge living room, and separate rooms for kitchen and dining.  The kitchen design looks more like a closed in patio, with lots of ventilation.  This is typical in Thai homes as they do not air condition their cooking areas. The front living area has lots of big windows that open to let the breeze through.  I must say it was quite comfortable inside.  In fact, I noticed there was no air conditioning in the front rooms.  I’m not sure if they have A/C in any of the bedrooms, but I didn’t notice any compressors when we walked around the exterior of the home.  There were no screens on the windows, so I asked if mosquitoes were a problem and the Aunt said no.

Home Similar To The One I Looked At

Behind her home was a very large two story house, so big it needed a double lot to fit on.  Leo told me it cost 2 million to build and was owned by a farang and his Thai wife.  Lots in this housing development cost 100k ($3k), so if one wants a bigger home, or large yard, it’s very affordable.  All the homes are made with stucco covered brick and have tiled floors and roofs, so there is very little that would need repair as they get older.  I didn’t think to take any pictures, so the photo I’m using is just an example that looks very similar to the one I looked at.

After our short visit at the Aunt’s house, with a not so hidden agenda to get me excited about buying my own, we hopped back in the car for our next destination.  I thought it was just going to be the four of us, but then Aunt and 12 year old cousin climbed into the small Toyota with us.  Two full figured women and a couple of skinny boys made for a full back seat on this one hour trip to Bung Talau Lake.  My fat ass was in the front passenger seat and Leo’s plump brother was driving, so there was just enough room for all with the 12 year old sitting on Mom’s lap.

Sneak Peek - Lake Resort

In my next post I’ll talk about the lake and resort we went to, and there will be a lot more photos.

It seems RQD has gotten a mention in the September issue of Instinct Magazine, a monthly American publication geared toward gay men.

September Issue

I’m getting all of this second hand from a friend, but apparently Instinct did a travel piece about Gay Thailand that includes references to a large list of relevant web sites.  RQD is mentioned near the beginning of the two page article, right after Spice Magazine.  My friend sent me this quote…

“Written by a Western expat, blog Rice Queen Diary (ricequeendiary.com) is chock full of fascinating information about Thai customs, colloquialisms and etiquette–although it skews heavily toward the topic of dealing with ‘money boys’ (aka hustlers).”

I just completed the move of RQD to a new and faster hosting service.  For most, the move is instantaneous, but it may take a few days for some.  If you are reading this post, then you’re looking at the site on the new server.  A copy of the site is still on the old server until it gets shut down at the end of the month, but it will not get updated.

There was a light rain when the BF walked home from work last night.  As Leo entered the room I noticed he wasn’t carrying an umbrella, so I asked if he got wet.  He said, “No, not rain cat and dog.”  Needless to say I was caught off guard by his use of this somewhat outdated idiom.

Source: Flicker

I asked Leo where he learned this phrase.  Instead of answering my question he said, “We say same in Thailand, but different animal.”  I asked what animal they say.  He didn’t know I was familiar with the dreaded Hia (water monitor) so he said it was an animal that is a little bit like a crocodile.  He kept trying to explain it when I decided to take a wild guess and asked if it was the Hia, which caught him a by surprise and he answered with an exited, “YES!”

He went on to explain there are other things they say in Thailand to describe a heavy down poor of rain, the most common translates to something like a bucket splitting open at its bottom and all the water rushing out.

Later I learned it was an American friend of ours that taught Leo the idiom.  A huge improvement over some of the other things he’s picked up from our friend, such as fuck off and asshole.