I think most know you should stand to the side while waiting for passengers to disembark the train.  Lord knows there are plenty that ignore this simple rule of conduct, but rarely will you find a westerner guilty of such.  Unfortunately, that’s where the best behavior of westerners ends.

One time I spotted three young (20’s) Europeans sitting on the BTS.  The girl had her feet propped up on the center aisle pole, bottoms facing directly toward the passengers seated opposite of her.

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve observed a westerner lean against the pole between entry and exit doors, with a car full of people.  Of course, no one will try to make use of the pole if someone (always a rude westerner) is leaning their back side against it.  Instead everyone does their best to hold onto something else.  I’ve known for a long time Thais will not grab the pole if someone is leaning on it, but never knew exactly whey.  So, before writing this I asked Princess.  He said, “Kreng Jai…she should know better.”  He said she, because I had just shared with him my observation of a farang woman doing this on the BTS earlier in the day.

According to Princess, use of foul language is unthinkable amongst Thais, but westerners have no problem carrying on a conversation filled with colorful words.  I was on the train a few days ago and there were two young Americans (early 20’s) having a conversation.  Almost every sentence, from one boy, included the word fucking, and he wasn’t speaking softly.

While this is slowly changing, most Thais will not talk on their cell phone.  If they do, it’s usually very soft spoken and often with the other hand cupped over mouth and phone to shield the noise.  The same is apparently true for riding other forms of public transportation, such as bus or van.  This is why a lot of boys will tell you they could not talk, because they were on the bus or train.

While Thais, and other Asians, are notorious for rushing to get on the train, once inside their conduct is almost always above reproach.  In all fairness to westerners, most of the offenders I’ve observed have been under the age of 30.

QUIZ

What are the 4 situations when it would be courteous to stand up and give your seat to another passenger?

Some may have already spotted the Facebook badge in the sidebar. What might not be immediately noticeable is I’ve also added a new page.  “About My Photos” includes direct links to the albums for those that do not want to mess with joining Facebook.  Photos in the sidebar are the 6 most recent additions to albums in my Facebook account, created primarily for RQD readers.

I don’t make a habit of posting reviews about commercial businesses in Thailand, but on occasion I discover one that’s worth mentioning.  Anyone in Bangkok looking to buy a camera or computer games, such as the Nintindo or Sony PSP, should take a look at the AV Center in Pantip Plaza IT Mall.

While I have no doubt there are other places one can get a good deal in Bangkok, it has been my experience this shop beats out everyone in Pantip Plaza, which is a popular destination for those wanting to buy computers, cameras and other IT products.  I’ve purchased 3 cameras, and some other big ticket items from the AV Center and they have consistently come in cheaper than any other shop in the mall.  In addition, they usually include things like a memory card when the other shops charge extra for it, or provide one with half the capacity.  So, not only are they cheaper, but you also get more for that price.

The first time I purchased a camera I started at the AV Center.  After looking at what they had to offer I told them, before making my decision, I wanted to check out a camera they did not sell.  Tony, the store manager for cameras, informed me only one shop in the mall had that camera and suggested I look there.  I then went to every other shop in the mall comparing their price against AV Center’s, and looking to see if anyone else had the other camera.  Sure enough, only the one shop Tony sent me to carried the other camera, and all the shops were considerably higher priced for the same camera I was looking at in AV Center.

When making the rounds I also discovered all the shops tend to stock the exact same camera models, so it’s very easy to compare prices. Over time I’ve also concluded the guys at AV Center know they beat every other shop in the mall and don’t care if I shop around first.  I’m not the only one that’s discovered the AV Center.  Every time I’ve been in the shop several other people have come in that are obviously repeat customers.

Pantip has a reputation for having shops that are less than reputable, so it is very difficult to know who is safe to do business with.  I can’t speak for any of the other camera stores in Pantip, but after making four separate purchases at the AV Center I can say with confidence these guys can be trusted.

Most of the camera shops in Pantip are on the third floor.  When stepping off the escalator (left side of mall), turn left and the AV Center is just a few feet away.  Most of the other third floor shops will be to your back as you are going up the escalator.

When Thais want to get your attention, but don’t know your name, they’ll often say Hey YOU!  I’m not sure how its take in other cultures, but with Americans this method of hailing someone usually precedes an unpleasant and often on-sided conversation.  Thus, I’m always set back just a bit when Thais say it to me.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

Now days I’m frequently out taking photos, so these “hey you” or just “you” encounters tend to happen more often.  I’ve always believed this approach is well intended and they have no idea it can be taken as rude by some westerner’s.  My assumption has been it’s simply the result of direct translation, but I’ve never really looked for a definitive answer until recently.

In asking around I found that it is indeed a case of direct translation.  Thais will often verbally approach a stranger by simply saying “khun”, the Thai word for “you”.   Actually they will say “Khun Krub” (koon cop) if wanting to speak nicely, but English does not use an equivalent to Krub, so it just comes out as “you”.  Princess was the only one to offer an explanation for “hey” being added to it.  He says “hey” is comparable to saying “sawasdee” which is a standard Thai greeting, or hello, between strangers or casual acquaintances. Frankly, I’m skeptical of his answer, but for now it’s the only one I have to go with.

Princess also made it a point to say he does not use “hey you” with farang, as he’s learned it is not always well received.  He stressed that for most Thais, who speak little or no English, this is all they know to say, and are completely unaware it might be offensive.

This marks the final chapter in our trip to Korat.   It is also when I discovered why Leo is not nearly as active a Buddhist compared to most boys I’ve been around.

As you recall, I noticed a huge structure off to the right while in route to the lake.  When I asked about it, all Leo said was we would go there later.  After finishing up at the beautiful lake side resort, everyone piled into the car and headed for this mystery structure.  Well, mystery to me.

After parking, we headed into the complex. Leo’s young cousin stayed in the car, because he was still just in his wet underwear. It would have been inappropriate for him to be seen wearing just a shirt and underpants in what I had just learned was a Buddhist wat.

As it turns out, this is a new Buddhist temple, still under construction, but already drawing a big crowd.  While I’m sure there are bigger, Wat Non Kum has the largest temple structure I have ever seen.  The huge temple houses a sculpture of Buddha.  There are many different depictions of Buddha, and this particular one is the largest of its kind (indoors) in the world.

Leo later explained Wat Non Kum is being built by a former Thai movie celebrity, who was on the grounds while we visited.  At the time I didn’t know who he was, but it wasn’t lost on me, by his perch on an elevated seat looking down on everyone, this guy enjoyed some degree of stature.  When I first saw the man my gut feeling about him wasn’t very positive, as his smile did not strike me as being sincere.  He was presiding over the sale of Buddhist amulets, no doubt associated with the new wat.  A large percentage of the proceeds, I assume, making their way into his pocket.  My first clue this wasn’t your typical wat came when I noticed everyone had to pass through the building this guy was in, its only purpose being the sale of items to visitors.

The grounds are immaculately landscaped. With ponds, small lake, water fountains and sculptured trees it is truly a photographer’s paradise.  Unfortunately the group was a bit rushed, so I didn’t have time to take all the photos I wanted.  Come to find out, aside from little cousin sitting in the car, the main reason everyone did not want to stay long was this wat is more of a tourist attraction than a place of worship.  Leo pointed out that there are no monks living on property and no head monk assigned to the wat.  Best I can determine, these commercially oriented wats have started popping up all over the place in recent years, some marred in controversy.

So while busy shooting photos inside the temple, I assumed the family was paying their respects.  In fact, they were all just sitting on the steps outside waiting for me to finish.  I actually learned about most of this after Leo and I were back in our hotel room.  And it was in this discussion Leo finally revealed why he is not a devout Buddhist.

I met Leo shortly after he had done his 30 days as a monk, something many boys in Thailand do while in their mid 20’s.  Leo explained during his 30 day residence at the local Wat he had an opportunity to observe things from behind closed doors and it was very disconcerting for him.

While I suspect other things happened, the example Leo gave had to do with the giving of donations in return for services provided by the monks.  Monks are called upon to do many things, such as bless a new home, car or motorbike.  In return a donation is given, sealed in an envelope.  Leo told me the head monk would regularly express his displeasure with how small the donations were.  He said monks are supposed to give up all worldly possessions, so it should make no difference how much money people give.

I asked him if he had discussed this with his parents.  Leo told me he had and their response was there is good and bad everywhere.  This apparently wasn’t enough to dissuade Leo’s disenchantment with the Buddhist faith.  He still participates in the big religious holiday ceremonies, and will occasionally make use of the altar in our room. I have never seen him wai a Buddhist shrine as we pass it and he has no desire to visit anything Buddhist unless it is for a major event.

I have noticed that Thai youth, in middle and upper classes, seem less reverent than those from the lower echelons of society.  I would not go so far as to say this is a fact, but it is the impression I’m getting.

ON ANOTHER NOTE

This month Leo and I celebrate our first year together.  Neither one of us can remember the exact date we became boyfriends, but both agree it was sometime in November.  It doesn’t really feel like a year has passed, but I guess that’s a good thing.

In the past I wrote about the importance of covering your mouth when cleaning teeth with a toothpick.  Its one of the first things I learned when arriving in Thailand.  All these years later, I’ve discovered one more important item.  I don’t usually suck on a toothpick, so I guess this is why it’s taken so long for me to discover it.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

The other night Leo and I were in the store shopping for groceries and a clerk offered us a free sample of ham, which was served on a toothpick.  After consuming the sample I didn’t see a place to discard the pick, so I held onto it until a trash receptacle crossed my path.  While checking out I needed the use of both hands, so I stuck the toothpick in my mouth.  WELL, when Leo saw that he gasped.  I immediately concluded what the issue was, and told him I was aware of having to cover one’s mouth when cleaning, but did not know it’s bad to just put one in your mouth.  His only response was to say, in a disgusted tone, “Dirty!”

Of course, I removed the toothpick from my mouth, and then told Leo it is common for guys to do this in America, something I thought he surely must have observed from movies and TV shows.  His reply, in a condescending tone was, “I know!”

While this is based solely on the reaction of one Thai, I’m thinking it’s safe to say sucking on toothpicks in Thailand is probably a bad idea.  I can’t help but find it interesting Thais hold such a high standard when it comes to the use of a toothpick, but think nothing of picking their nose in public.  But that’s just the way things are in the Land of Smiles.

Last night I was out for food and drink with an American friend of mine and Princess tagged along.  Leo could not make it, as he was on the roof of a building someplace in BKK filming a movie from dusk to dawn.

At one point Princess and I were talking about his social life and I called him an E dog.  My American friend was not familiar with this Thai phrase, so I explained that E dog means slut, but is only used by gays.  The more common word for slut is “rat”, but sounds like “lat”, and is only in reference to the conduct of a woman. Gays will also use rat interchangeable with E dog.  Thus, when a gay uses either word it can be about the conduct of a man or woman, but straights would not use E dog and would never call any male a rat.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

Let me stop here for a second and remind you of an earlier post I made about teaching some of the boys the American gay phrase “Miss Thing”.

If you recall I said teaching them this was useful for setting a tone.  Thus, if I wanted to express my dislike for something, but not come across as seriously scolding, prefacing it with “Miss Thing” set a softer tone.  This is important, because Thais just learning English can not always pick up on the subtle differences in tone we use.  Thai language uses words to set tone, so this was my way of doing the same in English.  You may also recall that I was surprised how quickly the boys caught on to what “Miss Thing” meant, but after last night I understand why.

Now I know most of you from other countries are not familiar with the “Miss Thing” phrase, so let’s please not rehash that one again…OK?

With that explained, I can continue with the story.

Next I told my friend there are a lot of words in Thai that begin with E, but I wasn’t sure why.  Princess chimed in and said E means woman, and he used the example of E nee (E knee) which I was already familiar with, but did not completely understand how or why it was used.  My general understanding has been that it is used in the beginning of a statement to communicate you are correcting someone’s behavior.  As an example, if he forgets to take out the trash you might begin by saying E nee, followed with a reminder the trash needs to be taken out.  I think of it as setting a tone that is somewhat parental in nature, but not overly harsh.

Princess continued by reminding me the Thai word “nee” means “this”, so adding E to it is like saying “woman this”.  At that point I got excited and said, “So it same I say Miss Thing?”  Princess said, “YES!”   Now I understand why they were able to pick up on the phrase so quickly.

This morning I asked Princess if all “E” words are gay, and he said no, just some are.  Then I double checked with him that E dog is only used by gays.  He told me that women are now starting to use it, as well.  He said, in Thailand, women are beginning to adopt the unique vocabulary of gays.  I took that to mean the women that hang out with gays, and said the same is true in America.  Then I confirmed with him that while women are starting to use gay words and phrases, straight men do not.

Another one I know of that’s gay is to put E in front of a person’s name.  So if you are talking to or about Joe, adding E is a way of being campy…E Joe, or Woman Joe.

It’s funny how, over time, things like this come together in bits and pieces.  I’ll learn about something and six months later get another piece of the puzzle that brings me closer to the big picture.