The other day Leo and I were once again discussing all the drama between Princess and his boyfriend.  It looks to me like a power struggle, but the end result is constant verbal abuse from the BF.  Yet Princess puts up with it, which is not at all characteristic of him to do.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

Leo held his hand in front of his eyes and said, “Maybe he have ghost in front of eye.”  When I questioned the phrase, Leo said it is commonly used with Thais.  It would be our equivalent of “having blinders on” or “can’t see the forest through the trees”.

I’m always fascinated by how much ghosts and spirits are entrenched in Thai culture.  I have concluded many do not actually believe in them, but everyone seems quite comfortable acting as if they do.

Taai Hong , the feature film Leo was working on, will hit Thai cinemas on the 28th of this month.  This is actually four short stories combined into one movie, and all are based on accounts published in the newspaper.  As I understand it, the title of the film translates to something like death by other than natural causes.

Second Director

Leo was second director and assistant script wrier on one of the four.  He also worked part time on another, assisting actors with wardrobe changes.

Wardrobe Assistant

Shortly after filming was complete they had the customary wrap party, which Leo attended.   He didn’t say much about the evening except there was a lot of press and everyone got very drunk. About a month later he had some digital photos printed.  I thought he was just getting prints made for his brother’s university graduation ceremony. As it turns out, 75 of the photos were from the party and there he is rubbing elbows with all the actors.

On the 26th they will have the premiere showing of the film.  This is where all the cast and crew, press and VIPs are invited.  Leo will certainly get one ticket, but it’s not clear yet if he’ll be allowed to bring a guest.  He thinks its very unlikely, which is just as well, because I have NOTHING to wear.

Here is something that has taken me a long time to figure out, and I’m still not that good at it.  When trying to make a point with a Thai it is very often a mistake to fall back on western cultural standards and principles.  In particular I’m thinking of those situations where the root of your argument is centered on a matter of principle.  In other words, what you think is important and a “given” may have little or no significance to a Thai person.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

Learning what the differing principles are between these two cultures can be challenging, to say the least.  An example I’ve used before is the pork ball story.  A farang sitting at a bar asks one of the boys to go buy him some pork balls, but he returns with fish balls.  The boy brought fish balls because the vendor was out of pork. By farang principles if someone is paid to go do something they should do that or nothing at all.  By Thai principles the need to eat is almost a sacred thing, so returning empty handed would be “more bad”.  Besides, who doesn’t like fish balls…right?

There are those situations where you know the boy did you wrong, but trying to correct it head on will only make the situation worse.  Let’s say the boy staying with you goes out drinking with friends one night and does not return until 2 the next afternoon.  We all know this is the wrong thing for him to do, but odds are you won’t have much luck trying to address it directly.  Even if the boy gives a reason for his actions it will most likely be very vague, and perhaps less than honest.  Anything you say that directly attacks his actions will be received as him doing bad, and that always goes over like a fart in church.  The results of which will be just about as fruitful as hitting a cat.

One of the things I might do, immediately after the boy arrives home, is ask if he has eaten yet.  This is a very polite and thoughtful way of greeting someone in Thai culture.  It is also very disarming.  His answer will very likely be yes, and that opens the door for a slam dunk.  I would follow that, regardless of his answer, by saying I am very sad today, because I had to eat alone.  Thais do not like to eat alone, and to cause someone to do so, when it could have been avoided, is bad manners.  It is also an indirect way of telling the boy he did wrong without ever bringing up the subject of his staying out all night, which is exactly what he anticipates your focus will be on.  In this case I am using his cultural principles to my favor.  I have shamed him in such a way he can only counter with an apology, and is now thrown completely off balance by getting hit with something he was not expecting.  At the same time I’ve avoided a full on confrontation regarding his over extended absence.  I would then move on as if nothing else had happened.

Every boy is different, but odds are he won’t stay out so late again.

The XX has returned to Pattaya, but during his short visit I learned of another superstition.  Both Leo and Princess don’t invest much in these things, but XX is a real believer and also gives credence to many the other two are unfamiliar with.  This is no surprise as superstitions tend to vary from one region of Thailand to the next.

Anyway, XX was washing the dishes and noticed one of the plates had a small crack in it.  He suggested it be tossed in the trash, but I said the crack wasn’t that bad and the dish was still usable.  He then explained a crack in any dish, including glass ware, is bad luck and should be discarded as quickly as possible.  One example he gave was a crack in a dish will make a couple more distant in life.

I hope everyone enjoyed their New Year celebration last night.  Leo and Princess are away visiting with family, so my X twice removed came up from Pattaya to spend the holiday with me.  We celebrated New Year’s Eve at Balcony Pub with a couple of good friends of mine, and everyone had a great time.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

As I write this, the XX is still sleeping.  He got up earlier and put on a pot of rice for lunch.  Then he went back to bed and asked me to wake him at 12, so he can go out and get some food from one of the near by street shops.

While he does a very good job of putting on a tough straight boy persona, the XX is actually very sweet and charming, and the best “take good care of you” boy I’ve ever met.  Later today I’ll take him to an IMAX 3D movie.  He is a poor low class island boy from the south who has never experience either, so this will be quite a treat for him.

Tomorrow XX will return to Pattaya where he works as an electrician.  I always enjoy his short visits and look forward to the next.  If I can’t be with Leo there is no other boy I’d rather have around.  XX is truly one of the good boys.

Happy New Year!