An RQD reader left a rather long comment that I have decided to turn into a post. First his comments, then my reaction…
READER COMMENTS
Here are some observations relating to your blog I made during my holiday in Bkk and Pattaya in January. All the boys I met were from DJ-station, Lumpini Park, Gayromeo, beach or host-bar.
I found that it’s of utmost importance always to have enough 100baht-bills and therefore spend the 1000baht-bills (which I receive when I change money) first. There are many places that can’t give change for 1000baht and I had some unpleasant experiences due to lack of small change. In SeeK-dance, I wanted to tip a dancer with 100baht (I saw Thais doing this), but I didn’t have a 100baht-note. Later, I paid a bottle of coke with a 1000baht-note and waited for the change; in vain. Half an hour later (when they closed), I inquired, but we did not get to a result, so I gave in. (At that time, my Thai friend had left without telling me where he went, I looked around and tried to call him, to no avail. Next day I asked him: he had to vomit and went home alone – without telling me.). Another day, I was in a taxi and needed to pee. When we arrived at my hotel, the driver didn’t have change for 1000baht, so I had to go to 7-eleven first. Fortunately, the need to pee was no!
t very urgent.
Thai boy’s English: grammar and vocabulary is not that bad; however, pronunciation can be difficult to understand, on mobile phone it can become impossible to talk with boy, in this case I use SMS. Thais really have difficulties with pronouncing the letter “R” and often replace it by “L”. In Romanized Thai, sometimes “r” appears but you don’t hear it when Thais speak the word, e.g. Sathorn or Sathon (I found both Romanizations), Chakran sauna is pronounced like “Chakan”. Some other problem-words: “friend” sounds like “fan”. Thais have problems pronouncing an “s” at the end of a word, it is simply dropped: “sex” becomes “sek” and “tax” becomes “tak”. They often confuse “he”, “his” and “him”, e.g. “him loom not clean” – “his room is not clean”. Knowledge of Thai would give amazing insights into Thai grammar by listening to Thai boys’ English.
Bed clothes: I brought a spare pyjama (kind of T-shirt and boxers, similar to what I wear in bed) and offered it to boys, but all of them preferred to sleep naked or in underwear.
Mouthwash: I never used mouthwash before, but I brought a bottle (250ml) and it was used by most boys (I could hear or smell) without asking me, at the end it was almost empty. I didn’t know that it’s that easy to make their stay with me more comfortable, thanks for the tip!
Coin in ear: A mamasan in Krazy Dragon Pattaya had a one-baht-coin in his ear. It fits perfectly, he had no explanation why he put it there (maybe change because drinks are 99baht?).
Thai boys peeing: All my guests peed standing, at least they put the toilet seat up before they did and they didn’t miss as far as I could see. (Men peeing into toilet standing with or without missing and not taking the toilet seat down afterwards is a subject for jokes, conflicts and maybe even divorces in Germany.) What really surprises me is that they can pee with a boner (I can’t, which is a problem when I wake up in the morning with an erection and need to pee, I asked my English friends: they find it very inconvenient to pee with a boner).
Showering is much less common than I expected from reading your blog. I had boys that just wiped off cum with a tissue and then slept overnight in my bed; i.e. no shower at all during stay in my room.
Dating Thai boys: my experiences are from in-time up to six hours late (therefore, when I meet a boy in public place I chose a place where I can spend an hours without getting bored in case he turns up late).
Butterfly: I had a boy from a host-bar in Pattaya and after two hours walking on the beach and in the town I told him that I want to go to Sunee Plaza and he suddenly told me: “You are butterfly. I can see in your eyes: You are very, very butterfly.” Is this the worst possible insult I can get?
Entertaining Thai-boys: I went to the Chakran-sauna with a friend from DJ-station and the Jacuzzi was fun for both of us.
Parade of the boys in Soi twilight: You recommended sitting and watching there after midnight, but I found it very entertaining around 8-9pm when the boys arrive. Furthermore, I can recommend to take a look around and go behind the bar (Wild West Boys Pattaya) or check where they go eating (about 100m away from Soi Twilight on Surawong, there are food stalls where I observed massage boys and go-go boys and chatted with them). There they are in a natural environment, sometimes even don’t care about my presence, and the light is much better than in bars (revealing that some wear a lot of make-up, looks very un-natural).
Buddhism: I was with a host-bar-boy (the one from above who called me butterfly) and we went to the large Buddha in Pattaya where he prayed. (I told him I wanted to see the Buddha and when we were there I just followed him and it was very entertaining.) He told me that he is not only Buddhist, but Christian as well and he prayed at a Chinese temple there, too. In one Buddhist temple, there was a small Buddha made of brass which he lifted two times above his head for luck and asked me to do the same. First I thought, the Buddha was fixed to the ground, than I managed with some effort to lift it above my head twice. It was very heavy!
ICK and SeeK-dance: This is another example where I just followed a friend without knowing what’s going on and was pleasantly surprised. He did not tell me that we were going to ICK, but I wanted to go there anyway but didn’t know the directions. So I let him do everything (giving directions to taxi, ordering table) and it was very interesting. There was very nice dancing in underwear in SeeK-dance and some days later in ICK (where I went with another friend).
How do boys in Go-go-bars get their numbers? I asked a mamasan and as far as I understood, the first boy gets number 1 and and each new boy gets the next free number. If boys leave the bar, the number is not allocated to a new boy? That explains why a bar with about 20 boys on stage can have numbers up to 98, but I never saw numbers above 99. Any explanation?
Is Herpes (Herpex simplex virus) known in Thailand? It causes cold sore on the lip or genital herpes. I get herpes on my lip about once a year, and it was just before my holiday, so during the first days there was some scab on my lip. I told a friend (and showed him a printout from Wikipedia), but this did not prevent him from kissing me.
When boys (in Soi Twilight or Boyztown) shake hand with me, they sometimes tickle the palm of my hand with their middle finger.
When boys beckon me to come to them, they stretch out their hand, the palm points down and they move their fingers up and down. In Germany, we use this gesture to make someone go away, whereas with palm pointing up it means “come here”. So I was a bit confused the first time I saw it (in Pattaya in a host bar).
Boys and pillows. I went to KL to visit a friend from university (Malay-Chinese high-society woman) and slept in her brother’s room. He gave me a cylindrical pillow and showed me how to use it for sleeping on my side: put it between my legs and wrap my arms around it. (This is exactly how I like to hug friends in bed!). When we were driving in her car, my friend’s sisters had pillows on their lap. Use of pillows seems to be common in South-East Asia!
Boys and Temperature. I felt comfortable without air-con, so I left it switched off (I don’t like the noise). However, most boys switched it on when they entered my room. That’s strange because for them, it’s winter, why cool the room?
On the other hand, boys often take off their T-shirt when entering the room. Why do they do that? I like to slip my hands under T-shirts and to take them off myself, so I have to tell them to put it on again so I can take it off.
Shy boys. Changing underwear under towel after showering
In bars, sometimes a boys put on a show for me (i.e. smiling, dancing, keeping eye-contact, wink with eye, hand and lip movements). Are they really interested in spending time with me?
Another strange thing is: “Can I go with you for free” (happened twice in Pattaya: in a host-bar and on the beach, both times in the afternoon). In both cases, they finally asked for money and I gave them the going rate. But why do they say “go for free”?
I always have my T-shirt tucked in and a friend of mine told me that people look at me because it’s so unusual. I have a theories why people have their T-shirt tucked in or not tucked in. I always have my T-shirt tucked in because I don’t like wind blowing under it (besides, in Europe it’s cold most time of the year). I believe people wear their shirt over their trousers to allow others easier access to skin (by slipping hand under T-shirt), but this only works for DJ-station.
Being fat: I gained some kgs over the last months and a Thai friend told me I became fat (I’m still slim). Incredible that he noticed and remembered from 4 months ago!
MY COMMENTS
Picking up boys at Lumpini, or any other public park, is very high risk business. I do not recommend it at all! At the very least you are asking to get attacked by straight youth that are sick and tired of the farang trolls in their public parks.
I don’t recall how much I’ve written about the importance of always having small change, but it will make life much easier if you do. In addition, there has been a problem with counterfeit 1000 baht bills circulating, so many small businesses are afraid to take them.
You found boys with stronger English skills, because of the places you looked for them. Freelancers almost always speak better English, and that’s why they are freelancers. Communication with boys on the phone is always difficult, because they can not read your lips.
I don’t think boys have difficulty pronouncing “s” at the end of words. More likely they have only learned the singular version of words. It is also possible that the Thai language does not use plurals like English does. Perhaps someone with good Thai language skills could comment.
The boys wear boxers, not PJs, so I’m not surprised they rejected your offer. Most boys sleep in their underwear. It is very rare to find one that will sleep naked. The only times I’ve seen this is with the freelancers, and my assumption is it’s because they have more experience with farangs and know that its the “customer’s” preference. My suggestion for giving a boy boxers to wear is for when he is hanging out around the room. Boys do not like walking around in just their underwear, but are totally comfortable with a pair of boxers and underwear combination. Boys are comfortable with any style of underwear once in bed, and will almost always put them back on after sex.
These days a one baht coin in the ear is a fashion statement. Mamasan has pockets to carry change.
Boys that do not shower, as I have described, are very low class and dirty. I have encountered boys like this, exclusively among the street and on-line (Gay Romeo) freelancer types. Boys like this usually can not be trusted, and there is a very strong likelihood they are HIV positive.
As a general rule, any boy that shows up more than 20 minutes late gets rejected by me. If you allow a boy to make you wait you’re giving him control and opening the door for all kinds of other problems. Never ever allow boys to do this to you. They will not respect you if you do.
The use of “butterfly” from a bar boy is not nearly as insulting as from a boy in DJ station. You should be more concerned about the boys saying to each other you are a butterfly than them actually saying it to your face. If you have a reputation with the boys as being a butterfly they will not respect you and you WILL get treated differently.
Watching the boys arrive between 7:30 and 8:30 is also fun, but they are at work and not available. After checking in, many go back out to eat something before they have to start performing on stage. During this time it is common for the boys to briefly stop and visit with farang they know. I never bother the boys while they are eating. If they are nice to you at that time its only because they hope you will come and off them from their bar later, but I seriously doubt it gains you much respect. Most likely, their take on it is you are a “Cheep Charley” troll.
How the boys get their numbers at GoGo bars probably differs from one bar to the next. I have seen boys take the number of one that has left. I’ve also seen boys wear the number of a boy that is on holiday, but still working in the bar.
Did the boy that didn’t care about the scab on your lip take a shower before or after sex?
Tickling the palm of your hand while shaking it is quite common with the bar boys. I never bothered to explore it though.
Waving someone over, with palm down is more respectful. To do it with palm up is comparable to calling your dog. I don’t see this as much in Thailand, but I quickly learned it was a very bad thing to do when I was living in the Philippines.
The boy most likely turned on the air conditioner, because he knows farang will want it on and was just trying to be a good boy.
Most boys do not take their shirt off after entering the room. In fact, it’s extremely rare to see that happen. It is common for a boy to start undressing if he thinks sex is about to happen. They don’t understand a lot of farang like to undress their boy, yours truly included.
QUESTION: “In bars, sometimes a boys put on a show for me (i.e. smiling, dancing, keeping eye-contact, wink with eye, hand and lip movements). Are they really interested in spending time with me?”
ANSWER: It’s their job.
QUESTION: “Another strange thing is: “Can I go with you for free” (happened twice in Pattaya: in a host-bar and on the beach, both times in the afternoon). In both cases, they finally asked for money and I gave them the going rate. But why do they say “go for free”?”
ANSWER: It is a favorite technique with some boys, because they know it often works. It is most common with freelancers. You did end up going with the boy and you did pay him…right? Your conduct was reaffirming to the boy that his approach does in fact work, or he wouldn’t do it.
The reason boys leave their T shirt out in Thailand is exactly why you keep it in back home. It is hot in Thailand. Also, the boys wear their pants rather low, so every time they bend over their shirt would pull out anyway. All the boys wear their shirts out, not just the money boys. It has nothing to do with sex. If you ask a boy why he wears his shirt out he will most likely say, “For good fashion.”
