Any Comments?
October 28th, 2007
As mentioned on my about page, I’ve had issues with leaving comments turned on for all posts. I started this page as an alternative, but since then decided to turn comments on for any new posts. I’m going to go ahead and leave this page up, because I don’t want to delete any of the existing comments. I also think this page still has value for any comments not specific to a particular post.
October 28th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Welcome back!
I missed your blog when you took it offline earlier in the year. I enjoy reading it - it keeps me in touch with a place I love.
Glad to have you back!
Jake
October 28th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Thanks for putting your site back online. I was sad when it went offline. I am hoping to go to Thailand within a year and your site has so much good info. I have learned a lot about what to expect. Love the pics too! I epecially enjoy the pics of everyday guys, although the model pics are also enjoyed.
October 28th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
Thank you for the excellent Thai Words. It’s quite well done.
And thank you also for this comment page. Conversations are always more charming than monologues.
November 2nd, 2007 at 5:27 am
Excellent website. I’m going to head to Thailand in December and all this information really helps. Have you ever been to Koh Tao? I’ll be heading there after a few days in Bangkok.
November 2nd, 2007 at 5:41 am
I’ve not been to Koh Tao, but hear its beautiful. Planning on doing some rock climbing?
November 2nd, 2007 at 8:21 am
They have rock climbing there? Ah nice, I had scuba diving on my list but I didn’t know about rock climbing. I’ve been trying to do research on the web but most of what I get is Koh Samui. That’s one more thing that I know. Thanks
November 2nd, 2007 at 6:56 pm
I think I read someplace they have rock climbing, but I may have it confused with another island. There are so many of them down there.
November 3rd, 2007 at 7:05 pm
I enjoy your blog very much. Thanks for the info on Thai discos/clubs. Maybe I will get a chance to visit one. I will be attending FAT Festival #7 next weekend and I expect to see tons of cute college type boys there.
November 5th, 2007 at 12:47 am
hi! i really enjoy your blog and i find thai culture to be very intereting. from your blog, i see that you like drag, so i have a suggestion. look up pictures of the japanese bands dir en grey and malice mizer. they are both visual kei (en drag) bands and in my opinion, very beautiful. keep up the good work!
November 22nd, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Very good entry on Thai skin. All the pictures of Thai boys always differed a lot in the tone of skin, and since I have never been to Thailand, I always wondered if it was just the setting, camera, etc. that caused them to look so different. Glad to know what to expect. I prefer the light skinned ones, so now I know I need to look north…lol.
This blog is very informative. Thanks again for your time.
November 28th, 2007 at 9:12 am
Just read your article about Rama V and wanted to let you know that it was Rama IV (Chulalongkorn’s father) who was the King in “King and I”.
Love the website though. Keep up the great work.
November 28th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Thanks Yatyisam for that correction.
December 7th, 2007 at 9:24 am
Your blog is great. I had shelved my dream of going to Thailand but after a few minutes of reading your blog I want to start planning a trip.
December 7th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Hi again, I read your information on getting a haircut and it was very helpful but I was wondering if you tried the Cutey and Beauty place? I don’t know any Thai so I would really like a place that speaks English.
December 7th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
Collin,
Your comment reminds me I need to completely rewrite that page. I’ve never used Cutey and Beauty but have heard they are good. Don’t worry about speaking English. When you go to any shop, take a picture of you to show them how you want your hair to look.
December 10th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You,
I have met someone on line. I am trying to learn about Thai culture and customs. I enjoy all that ou have done on you site to pass along helpful information. I also enjoy some phrases and words I discover along the way. I will possibly plan a tip next year sometime. I keep reading. Keep up the great work.
December 14th, 2007 at 8:03 am
It’s interesting because the Spanish word for butterfly is “Mariposa” and like Thai culture, to be called that is equally derogative; it’s tantamount to be called ‘faggot’ here in the states. Strange, considering what a beautiful and enigmatic insect the butterfly is.
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Thank you, I have enjoyed your webpage very much!
I thought you might be interested to know that the “U eat yet?” also seems to be a custom in Phillipines. I have made an online friend in Phils, and he/she (beautiful tranny) often asks me if I have ate. I say, “Yes, thank you” now because of your websites info.
Thanks again! Keep on writing…and umm…take me with you to Bangkok! hahaha!
January 7th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Yes, I can concur that the ‘pom bpai gin khao kap’
i go eat… works perfectly. I have been using this in every kind of situation.. i first discovered it about 2 years ago when I was visiting the Gogo bars in the soi off Surawong where there are many very pushy doormen.. but up the soi is Dicks cafe where many farang go to eat… and one day I was going to eat also.. and told the doorman at the first gogo bar you come to in the soi.. and then all the rest.. they immediatly stopped mid-sentence and made way for me to go ‘eat’. Works everytime!
February 14th, 2008 at 3:44 am
I have been to Bangkok many times and still found loads of useful information on your site. Great Job! I’m currently in Bangkok for the rest of February. Wrapping up a condo purchase so I can be a part time resident.
February 17th, 2008 at 7:44 am
This is my first visit to the site, I must say it is one of the best Blog sites around, if not the best. I found it most informative, fun and honesty all in one.
Pleasae keep up the good work.
I am retireing to Pattaya later this year, and this has been most helful
Regards
JOHN
UK
February 29th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Thanks so much for the blog. I made my first trip to Thailand last November. I went to get over a 8-year relationship that had ended. I had never really dated or even had sex with Asian guys before, and it was the last thing on my mind. Well, now I guess I am obsessed. I met a great Thai boy, and we chat and web cam everyday (sometimes hours) - I’ve got a real good guy in him. I am making a trip back in a few months, and I am meeting his family. What do I do? Any advice for making a good impression on the future in-laws?
February 29th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Roger,
Get the book Culture Shock Thailand and read it from cover to cover about 3 times. Let the boy guide you in social protocol situations. Keep in mind Thais do not expect you to be Thai. In fact, your charm is that you are not. Don’t be surprised if his family’s living conditions are just a few steps above that of camping with a tent. Smile a lot!
March 1st, 2008 at 4:14 am
Roger,
Read the page he added. He knows what he is talking about. Having visited Thailand many times over the years, I watched this scenario play out over and over. He repeats “your situation is different” for a reason…..we all hear it over and over as well. And then the same results. You would be wise to take his advice to heart.
Jeff
March 2nd, 2008 at 9:34 am
Thanks for the advice (I had not read that book before). Yeah I know every situation is different, and I am no stranger to the rougher side of life and nobody’s mark. In the USMC I was stationed in Japan and Korea, so I’ve got the general feel for Asian culture. What is the dynamic between a gay son and his father, or sibilings in Thai culture? And my friend is an auditor and his family runs their own businesses so I think that we will do a little better than tents, but then that can be fun too. LOL
March 17th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
I am planning a move to Thailand in the next 18 months, but I can’t find any info on bringing pets (my dog) into the country. Do you have a reference?
March 17th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Thailand does not have in place any form of quarantine system and it is very easy for expats moving to Thailand to bring their pets here.
However, people moving to Thailand should realize that rabies is a very real issue in Thailand, and so if they wish to relocate out of Thailand with their pets in the future to a country that does adopt a quarantine system, it is going to be extremely likely that they will need to quarantine their animal.
Also, it should be borne in mind that Thailand’s climate is not friendly to all types of animals being brought here - and certain pets need to constantly be kept in air-conditioned rooms if they are to survive the heat (especially during the hot months of April and May).
http://www.expatfocus.com/expatriate-thailand-pets
and this…
http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=37829
April 15th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
I really like the tone of your blog and the fact that most of your posts are extremely thoughtful. So thoughtful, in fact, that most of the time I want to leave a comment. Unfortunately, you always seem to have the comments turned off.
I can guess why this is. There are some nasty, mean-spirited people who like to vent on other people’s blogs. Please consider letting them vent, though, because that would also give me the change to throw my opinions around.
The comment I would like to add to your latest post, about taking a cheap holiday to Thailand in at this time of year because prices are down is this: Don’t go to Pattaya. Stay in Bangkok. College students are on a three-month summer holiday (March-May). And a lot of the gay students hang in DJ Station every night. It’s fun, unpredictable and exciting. The only down side is you’re very likely to meet someone who, once you’ve gone back home, keeps begging you to come back for another visit. And he’s gonna be really convincing.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Hi, sorry this isn’t really a comment but more of a call for help! so I hope you read this and get back to me(Don’t Know How) or can you just include a sentence in your next post giving me an idea to my question.
I’ve followed your blog for the last 9 or 10 months now but wondered how much Thai boy info relates to Cambodia. I’m going over to do some voluntary work there for 5 months in November but the last thing I want to do is make the sort of ignorant mistakes I read about in your blog if I meet any guys over there, all the beat keep writing Atarkama.
May 4th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Regarding throwing trash down the toilet, I think you may have 2 plumbing issues if you continue to do so. First, Not having a garbage disposal to chop up bones and other solid items means that you risk having your drain pipes clog if a few items catch on the pipe joints. More seriously — and maybe what some Thai boys know that you might not — is that many buildings, even in larger cities, use a septic tank. Much of what you throw away will not break down in a septic tank, and you will cause the tank to need to be pumped out significantly earlier than if you only use it for its intended purpose.
May 5th, 2008 at 1:35 am
Good point Steve,
What I flush, no bones, is mostly liquid with small pieces of vegetables, or leftover romin noodles. Only items of a consistency the toilet and plumbing are designed to handle. But your point is well made, as the boys may not know I’m being careful.
May 9th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Just over one month into a new relationship( my 2nd thai BF/Gik mathced in a gay dating website )–I find out by acccident that he has lied to me and is a barboy in Chiang Mai.. I have taken him traveling given gifts and lined his pockets with money, but he has never asked for anyting and i have never paid him for anything. I am not completely naive as i have paid for barboy sex before. In this case, it Turns out he has devised a storey to keep me from knowing the truth.. but now he claimss he was so afraid of losing me had i known the truth….especially after hearing my freqeunt bitter rantings about my ex thai BF who is a money boy. when he saw i was going to find out, about 5 weeks in,he broke the truth to me. He says that At 27 yrs old he believes he is past his MB prime and is looking for the farang daddy who can take care of him in his post MB life. he wants to take me home to the village and meet the parents to seal the deal-and become my official BF ( post Gik stage ) and will devote himself only to me… become my houseby/BF/parnter and servant. Is his story viable or am i blinded by my desire to find the ONE flower so i can stop being the butterfly. Am i a fool ? Can a barboy transition to BF once he past his professional prime years? Help.. I am so torn by this as I fallen in love with him. Anyone with suggestions please email me at bkaplan01@gmail.com .. thank you…
May 14th, 2008 at 3:52 am
Just a couple of comments on your “Country Names in Thai”:
Thai words can’t end with a “d” sound, so Angrit and Farangset would be more accurate.
And Cambodia is khmer (rhymes with “hair”).
May 18th, 2008 at 3:38 am
I’ve been in BKK now about 3 months and just recently stumbled across your site, I enjoy reading it and getting more info on the life here. Good job.
Karl
May 18th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
Hey me again with the new barboy bf. I have found your thoughts, to be varioiusly comforting, terrifying, startling, honest, obscure, but always provocative and insigtfull….. very helpful..
one question…. i hear the expression used both by thai and farang… “FANCY” i have heard it referring ot an attitude by thai boys ( eg. “its my fancy to have a youung blond falang”,) or directly from a thai boy (eg/”I fancy you sir…”) What does this mean .. Is it like pre love ???? or sexual attracction? or??
good Buddah day
May 19th, 2008 at 10:47 am
To fancy some1 is an old Engish expression, but not used much these days lol (Fancy = to be attracted to some1).
May 29th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
if some one says “its my fancy to have a youung blond falang” perhaps you are slightly mis-hearing them and they are actually saying “it’s my FANTASY to have a young, blond farang”
I like all of these little tidbits like the ugly baby thing. I recently bought a book called “Very Thai”. I haven’t had a chance to read it yet. The font is tiny and it seems fairly dense, but it basically is an exploration of Thai ways and why they do the things they do that seem so mysterious to farang. Apparently the author has lived in BKK for quite a long time and has published magazines and written the Time Out guide. It is all heavily researched. It will take me a while to get through it, but I think it is recommendable. I believe it may be out of print. I got my copy from a seller on Amazon and had to pay a small fortune for it. But if you are in Thailand it is published there so may be available locally.
May 30th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Over the last day I read and viewed your entire blog. You’re a good writer and great tour guide to the gay culture of Thailand. I love your adventurous spirit and your curious nature. I’m about your age and I don’t know if I’d be brave enough to take on the unrelenting process of acclimating myself to a new location and culture so far removed from everything that’s familiar to me. I had no idea how nuanced and intricate money boy pick-up rituals could be. I’m sure I’d do everything wrong for years. Without a friend like you who’s managed to learn a lot of the ‘native ways’ I’d be lost and hopeless. From now on I’ll check out your blog a couple times a week hoping you’ll continue to post more interesting stories and photos about your life in the ‘land of smiles.’ Thanks for producing this interesting and entertaining bog.
June 15th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Hi I am a 50yo GAM and enjoyed reading yr blogss. I also planned to retire in Thailand when I saved enough. By the way, I wish you could provide a monthly/yearly cost breakdown of yr retirement in Thailand. I will be visiting Singapore and the on to Thailand in July. Maybe we can meet for lunch? I would love to buy you lunch for providing such a valuable resource.
Bob
June 15th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Hi Bob,
Thanks for the kind words.
It is a bit difficult to offer a budget for living in Thailand, as there are so many variables…
What standard of living do you want to enjoy?
What city will you live in, and in BKK what specific area will you settle? The closer you are to the MRT or BTS the more you pay for housing.
How much one partakes of the night life, drinking and boys, can have a huge impact on the monthly budget.
Of course, as we get older medical expenses are a consideration.
For a modest lifestyle estimate, use the Thai Immigration monthly income requirement of 65,000 baht (roughly $2000) to qualify for a retirement visa. That is pretty darn accurate, but maybe a little low if you plan on spending a lot of money on drinking and boys.
July 9th, 2008 at 4:56 am
I would love to meet you for dinner and/or a drink if you are interested. I have thoroughly enjoyed your website for quite some time now, and I am in BKK through mid-August. Feel free to email me.
Jeff
July 11th, 2008 at 4:35 am
Got to tell you after reading you for over a year and traveling to Thailand often on business, your insight and fair opinion is so refreshing. I also sense that you like myself love the Thais and naturally feel somewhat protective even while disclosing all the downs of being a farang there. I was really disappointed at the treatment the boy got from asshole in Holland and I wish there were some way to teach more boys to put these jerks in place so they don’t poison the minds any more than has been done
Is there any way to contribute to your blog or show appreciation?
July 11th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Thanks Ron, for the kind words. The are appreciation enough.
July 14th, 2008 at 3:54 am
hi there
As a regular visitor to Thailand over many yearsI have always felt “on the fringe”,never too sure just how things work when meeting thai guys. I have recently discovered your blog and want to say thanks for so much useful informatiom,and for the positive attitude you display towards Thais,
J
July 14th, 2008 at 3:59 am
Thanks John
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:02 am
Hi, I’ve been reading through your site and I love it. You should think about writing your own travel book for Thailand (if you haven’t done it yet). One thing I haven’t found yet, so I wanted to ask, was about meeting and making friends in Phuket. I’m traveling there in a few days and my travel buddy dropped out at the last second so now I’m alone.
I’m bi-curious and I’ve never really had any m/m experiences but I’d like to try something while I’m traveling. Plus it’s be great to maybe go to the beach or go shopping with other people. Do you have any advice?
Thanks
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:14 pm
for your language page: “He very specail for my life and still lay in my heart every time but he have bf …so funny”.
“So funny”, of course, doesn’t mean humorous at all. It’s always said with sadness or even anger.
Secondly, it seems common for them to say “I don’t mind” when they really mean “I don’t like”. This can be a big problem if you are suggesting somewhere to go eat, etc.
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:33 pm
Thanks Drake…no book plans as of yet.
I’d suggest posting at the Sawatdee Gay Thailand Forum, and see if you get any takers. A lot of expats enjoy showing first time visitors around, of you might meet someone else that’s traveling alone and would like the company. You should also ask if there is any one place all the expats hang out at. These are always good locations to meet people living in the area. It you would prefer meeting a Thai, I’suggest visiting Gay Romeo, but keep in mind many of the guys there are money boys.
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Thanks mahjongguy…I’ll add it to the page.
July 30th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Thanks for the information you have posted here it is a fantastic resource in attempting to understand the Thai boys attitude towards us foreigners who enjoy them and their country so much.
I was hoping you may be able to answer a couple of questions for me please.
I have been to phuket a few times but never alone and only had massages with some wonderful boys. In sept I am going back again for 3 weeks but alone this time and will be able to enjoy myself a lot more I am sure.
I am a bottom only and from what I understand a lot of the boys are not gay so prefer to top is this a correct assumption to make.
Do the boys understand the terms top / bottom / vers and is this the type of conversation to have with them before you off them or is it not considered polite to discuss in the bar etc.
I am not at all into anything kinky but like a lot of bottoms I really enjoy anal play rimming etc by the top to me is this something that the Thai boys will do or is it like some cultures where it is considered very offensive, I would not like to upset them by asking for something that is considered this way.
If you take a boy for a short off is it considered that once you have both cum then he leaves & if you ask him to stay until he can perform again then it is considered that he stays the night, I guess this is the hope of all us bottoms to get a multiple performance from some poor top!!
If a massage boy comes to you room do you generally pay him the fee you would pay to his massage place as well as the amount you would pay him as well.
If I wanted to off two boys for a 3 some, they would not have to touch each other if they didnt want to , is it something they like doing & how is the best way to arrange this
I hope you dont mind me asking these questions I may have some more before I leave so thanks for your help in advance
July 30th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Ian,
Most of what you ask is already answered by reading all the posts and the pages in the side bar.
See Making A Sandwich for details about setting up a 3-way, but understand most boys do not like them. They consider it very degrading. They don’t understand why they are not enough to satisfy. Trying to set up a 3-way is always an expensive gamble, even if the boys say OK, it can end in disappointment. If you already have a boy that you absolutely know is into 3-ways, and you let him do all the talking, and you let him pick the other boy, it will be great.
Every boy is different when it comes to rimming. Some like it and others do not. Some are only passive. Those that do not like it will call it dirty.
The boy is only obligated to cum and make you cum once, even if he stays the night. Anything after that is at his discretion. If he’s a real good boy, and you off him for long-time, he will probably have sex with you more than one time. If the boy fancies you, he’ll probably have sex with you more than one time, even if you take him short time. Of course, money always talks.
Most boys are bottoms. The tops are a mix of gay, bi, and straight - by Thai standards which, in my opinion is really bi.
It is totally appropriate to discuss with the boy what he will do before offing him. Unfortunately, most will tell you they do anything, even if they do not, particularly those that are in the gogo bars. Most mamasans will also tell you the boy will do anything. Most boys you meet on-line are honest about what they will or will not do, but not all.
Massage places have a special price for out services. Some already have the boy’s tip included in that price. If it does not, then the boy gets tipped the same as he would in house.
Before asking any more questions, I suggest reading everything.