There are a few things I’d like to share with you about eating customs, attitudes, and etiquette in Thailand. I’m sure there are exceptions, and differing opinions, but this is what I have either learned or reached an opinion on so far. While reading this, keep in mind it’s in context of someone that does not speak Thai…particularly as it relates to interacting with the waiter.

A Thai gentleman told me that Thais select restaurants more for their status than quality of food. He explained there is plenty of good street food in Thailand, so if a Thai is going to spend extra to eat in a restaurant, it’s to impress someone. He went on to say, if a boy takes his date to eat street food, it better be very good food. At the time, I accepted his comments. Later I pondered how a restaurant achieves status if the food isn’t any good. I guess I need to investigate this more.

Thais like to eat out family style. In other words, they prefer to share several dishes like they would if eating at home. There is no set rule on this, but generally two people will order three dishes, three will order five, and so on. An alternative to this is for each to order a main dish, that is not shared, and other dishes are ordered for sharing. The shared dishes are typically soups, salads, and raw greens.

Thais like to eat a lot of raw green leafy vegetables and fruits, and they will tell you why each is good for you. I’m amazed at how tasty some of these items are. Don’t be afraid to try them, but be prepared for some rather potent flavors with some. When trying something new, just bite off a small piece to see how strong it is.

A lot of people say Thai food is spicy. In my opinion, “spicy” is too general of a description for Thai cuisine. In Thailand, spicy means hot. While a lot of dishes are hot, that’s only part of the mix. Thais like to shock their pallet with extremes - hot, sour, sweet, curry, and other flavors I can’t begin to describe. I believe this is the real reason why eating family style is so popular. It’s the only practical way to experience the vibrant, and often apposing, mix of flavors at one meal.

Most meals are eaten with a large spoon and regular dinner fork. The fork is used to push food onto the spoon. There are exceptions, but generally speaking you do not place food in your mouth using the fork. With some dishes, chopstix and/or a smaller soupspoon are used. These will be served with the dish, if appropriate. For some dishes, like steaks, a butter or steak knife will be included with the dish.

With some exceptions, you generally do not eat with your fingers in Thailand. This rule of etiquette extends to most fast foods, including fried chicken. The more notable exception being sandwiches, including hamburgers. One general guideline, as to when it is appropriate to eat with your fingers, is whether or not utensils are provided. Of course this doesn’t help when several dishes have been ordered. Eating with your fingers should not be messy. If the food is going to get all over your fingers, then you should be using utensils.

This makes total sense, because it is considered bad manners to lick food off your fingers. As I’ve mentioned before, napkins in Thailand are almost always the equivalent of two sheets of toilet paper. Thus, trying to wipe off sauce covered fingers is not an option. In other words, you don’t want to get into a situation where the only way to clean your fingers is to lick them.

To complicate things even more, you should only use your right hand when circumstances dictate the use of fingers. A good example would be when eating raw leafy greens. These are almost always eaten with the fingers. Hamburgers, on the other hand, demand the use of both hands.

The introduction of fast foods in Thai culture has kind of blurred the lines of proper etiquette. I’m always a little uncomfortable when it comes to eating french fries. When served as fast food, I assume it is acceptable to eat them with my fingers. When served on a plate, I’m not so sure fingers are the best choice.

With rare exception, restaurants in Bangkok provide menus that are in both Thai and English. In some cases they have separate menus for each language. Unfortunately they do not go into great detail about the ingredients of each dish. Thus, eating in a Thai restaurant can be a bit adventurous. More often than not, the menu will indicate what dishes are spicy, but don’t count on it.

One of the first things you want to learn in Thai is “not too spicy.” This is how it sounds, when written in English - pet nit noy. Say “noy” the same way you would say “annoy”, but drop the “an”. The literal translation is “spicy little bit”. The waiter may respond by saying “nit noy.” Repeat this for each dish you order, or your waiter may assume you are only referring to the one item.

If you embrace Thai cuisine, there is no avoiding their spicy hot dishes. For the novice, this will most certainly result in watery eyes and a runny nose. Blowing your nose in a restaurant is considered bad manners. Go to the toilet, or step outside if you need to use a tissue. I carry a travel pack of tissues with me, because Thai napkins are not substantial enough to be used as a facial tissue. In a pinch, a small stack of Thai napkins will work…blow gently.

Don’t be surprised if the waiter stands at your table, ready to take your order, while you are looking through the menu. It can make you feel a bit rushed, but that’s not his or her intent. I’m not sure why they do this, but my guess is they are accustomed to waiting on Thai speaking customers that typically have several questions during the ordering process. Thus, he or she is simply there to provide good service.

Most restaurants have a good selection of drinks, including sodas, coffees, juices, and sometimes one or two brands of beer. It should be no surprise that water is the most popular drink with meals. Thais drink a lot of water, and I’m told this is the secret to their smooth skin. Water is so popular, many restaurants put two or three bottles at each table. The waiter will bring you a glass of ice and a straw, same as he or she would when you order bottle of soda. Straws are very popular with all drinks in Thailand, including bottled beer.

This is pure speculation on my part, but I think straws are popular for sanitation reasons. I say this, because a lot of Thais will wipe their eating utensils with a napkin, before eating. In Thai food courts, I’ve even seen pots of near boiling hot water for washing the utensils.

Thai food courts are similar to cafeteria style eating. The main difference is they are comprised of many small shops in a cafeteria style line. You first buy tickets, in various denominations, that are used to pay each vendor. Leftover tickets are then redeemed for Baht, after you finish eating. I have no idea why they make you buy paper money, but I’m sure its for good reason.

It tends to vary from one restaurant to the next, but most places will not clear dishes while you are still seated at the table. That said, if you want to signify that you are done eating, place your utensils parallel on the plate. It is also assumed you are done if all the food has been eaten - on your plate and any shared dishes.

As far as I can determine, all restaurants will box up the leftovers, when asked. If there are language barriers, try pointing at the food and say “take away” to your waiter.

Toothpicks are available, at the table, in most restaurants. The dispenser is usually incorporated with the napkin holder. When using a toothpick, cup your other hand in front of your mouth to mask the removal of food particles. It is very bad manners to do otherwise.

Tipping, in all situations, is one area I’m still struggling with. From what I have been told, the practice of tipping is relatively new in Thai culture. If I remember correctly, the French introduced it, and I believe the British played a part in it, as well. I wish I could be more specific, but this information was shared with me one night after I had consumed large quantities of beer. Consequently the details are a bit fuzzy.

I’ll write a separate page about tipping, once I feel like I’ve gained a better understanding. From what I gather, when it comes to tipping in restaurants, there is no standard like we have in America. The 15 or 20 percent rule does not apply in Thailand. Tips are much lower, and they do not go directly to the person that serves you. Instead they are pooled and equally distributed.

Neighborhood restaurants are small, so seating is limited. During the lunch and dinner rush, every table gets taken. At these times customers typically come in groups of four or five, so all the seats at a table get taken. I don’t go at these times, because I usually eat alone, and would be taking up a table that could seat four or more patrons. These are small mom and pop establishments. I would not feel comfortable knowing they had to turn away a table of four, to accommodate me. I have no idea if these places know I’m doing this for them, but I’m sure they would not be happy if I took up a table for four during their busiest times of the day.