Thais have this wonderful way of making lemonade when life delivers lemons.  The other day I was out taking photos with my 21 year old friend and photography student. We were just finishing up at a wat when a bird, perched on a wire above him, let go with a big dump that hit him on top of his head and down the front of his shirt.  His reaction was, “I lucky…bird shit on my head.”

Thais like to take these little annoyances that life dishes out and turn them into a positive.  It is refreshing to see, but I must admit I’ve not been able to adopt a similar outlook.  Maybe in time this too will change.

I was eating with a couple of the boys the other day.  In typical Thai style we got several dishes and shared them.  It is also quite common for everyone to use their own eating utensils, usually the spoon, to serve themselves, both at home and in a restaurant.

I’ve mentioned before that it is very important to make sure no rice is stuck to the utensil while serving yourself from a shared dish.  Now here’s another rule of etiquette to add to the list.  Two people should never serve themselves, at the same time, from the same dish.  But there’s more.

Princess and I reached for another serving from the same dish.  While doing so, the backs of our spoons touched.  Princess said, “Someone will come to visit today.”  The other boy then giggled.  Princess asked me if I knew about that and I asked him, “About what?”  He explained that when the back of two spoons touch it means someone will come to visit that day.  He further explained that it makes no difference when they collide, so if two people are reaching for separate dishes and happen to connect it would mean the same thing.

Then he politely revealed it is also bad manners for two people to serve themselves from the same dish at the same time.  Who knew?

Some of these things are regionally specific, but in this case I took note that the other boy was familiar with what had been discussed, and agreed.  Princess is from Isan and the other boy comes from the south.

Later that day the man that collects the rent stopped by for this month’s payment.

In this post I’ll try and offer a superficial explanation for the use of water and powder during the Songkran festival.  Detailed explanations of the festival’s origins can easily be found with a few google searches, but my focus is on how the tradition evolved to what we see today.  This is based partly on some Internet research, combined with what I’ve gotten from the boys.

Songkran apparently originates in northern Thailand, Laos and Cambodia, and over time has found its way into other regions of Thailand.  I mention this, because there are some variations on how Songkran is celebrated from one region to the other.  There are also differences in how things are done in rural areas compared to the big cities.  Like many things in Thailand, the explanation you get for something is often influenced by the regional practices of the individual providing the answer.  In addition, the younger generations my not have a complete understanding of the more traditional roots of some things.  Thus, it can be difficult to get one simple answer for something like why is powder used. Factor in limited English skills and the quest for solid answers can be a bit challenging, to say the least.

WATER

The craziness of dumping water on each other originates from a formal ceremony, which still exists today, that pays respect to elders.  I’ll skip over the details, but the water part is limited to poring a small cup of scented water on an elder’s hands.  Some boys tell me it’s also pored on feet.   This later evolved into the tradition of poring a small cup of water on the shoulders of friends and passers by, which is still practiced today, even in Bangkok.

At some point it was decided that after the formal ceremony with elders the younger boys and girls could have fun splashing each other with water.  This is significant, because it was the only time of the year opposite sexes were allowed to mix and touch each other without fear of retribution.  More about this when we get to the origins of smearing powder on each other.

Today, boys will tell you that the splashing of water is symbolic of cleansing each other, so everyone will be fresh for the New Year.  If you think the water fights are crazy in Thailand, try Cambodia where it’s common practice to throw plastic bags of water at moving vehicles, motorcycles included!

POWDER

While it has evolved somewhat, this is one of the oldest Songkran traditions. Originally the white paste was a sign of protection and promised to ward off evil. The person with the paste was often older and he or she applied it to various parts of the face, neck and torso of others. One was expected to leave this paste on until it washes off.  At least in some regions, dry powder was also used.  One boy told me the traditional dry powder is very expensive and impractical for the celebrations we see today.  Even so, it is still common to have dry baby powder placed on you cheeks and/or forehead, even a few days before the actual festival begins.  I’ve had it done to me by the check out clerk at the local grocery store.

I asked three boys about the use of powder, all in the same room at the same time, and each from a different region of Thailand - Central, Isan and South.  Two had moderate English skills and one was quite proficient.  The first answer I got was the always popular, “for good luck.”  This was followed by, “for fun.”  But after considerable digging I learned something very interesting.

Earlier I mentioned that in the past youth were allowed to have water fights, and this was the only time of the year opposite sexes were permitted to mix and touch each other so liberally.  Well, the boys told me this custom of smearing powder paste on a stranger’s cheeks is a way to touch someone you find attractive, without fear of retribution.  While this is generally considered something the opposite sexes take advantage of, these three gay boys said the same holds true for them touching other boys.  From what I gather, this liberty is typically limited to the touching of another individual’s cheeks and possibly forehead.  The more aggressive covering of an individual with powder is largely restricted to friends or a stranger that has gotten particularly aggressive in his or her festive spirit.  In other words, it’s just for fun.

CONDUCT

I’m sure everyone has there own experiences, but I’ve found as long as you don’t engage, and are not in a location where a large group is having a water fight, the participants will usually leave a westerner, or older Thai, alone as he or she passes by.  In all the years I’ve lived here not once has anyone gotten me wet at the neighborhood street-side gatherings of a few Thais with hose and tub of water.  The only time I’ve ever gotten wet was from a couple of children that politely pored a small cup of water on my shoulder and wished me a happy new year.

I’m not suggesting one is totally immune from the occasional soaking, but as a general rule the stories you hear about having to stay indoors for three days are grossly exaggerated.  At least that’s been my experience in BKK.  Pattaya may very well be a different story.  Regardless, I don’t advise venturing out without cell phone, wallet and other valuables safely sealed in plastic bags.

Songkran was celebrated last 13, 14 and 15. Each day/night they have a big street party on Silom, which is concentrated under the Sala Daeng BTS station and eventually stretches out to the intersections at each end of the street.

The party starts around one in the afternoon and ends at about one in the morning.  Participants spill in slowly at first, so during daylight hours the street is dominated by vehicles, many of which are trucks with tubs of water that passengers use to splash on those they pass.

By around 5 PM the crowd of squirt gun toting people has grown to the point its standing room only from sidewalk to sidewalk, and more keep poring in.  If you are on the street at this time there is no avoiding the water and powder that’s turned into a clay-like paste.

Those arriving by BTS, once the party is in full swing, will immediately notice the roar of the crowd.  It’s actually a very dull roar at train level, but by the time you have exited the gate it’s quite loud and forbidding.  Gate level is also filled with drenched and powdered participants that have come up for a rest or are getting ready to leave.  Then you look over the edge to see what is going on at street level and it’s a sea of people, all tossing water and smearing wet powder on each other.

I was with a friend the first night. He looked over the BTS railing and said, “There’s nothing else like it in the world!”  We then made our way to Soi Twilight for the one and only evening of it I can stand.  There were very few farang in the soi that night, and it was much more subdued than in years past.  I also noticed a bit of tension among the boys and one farang who became hostile any time someone got him wet.  He was eventually escorted out of the soi.

The next day I came back to the BTS station and used the elevated walkway that connects with the MRT as a platform to photograph the party below.  It is an ideal vantage point, particularly for those wanting to avoid getting themselves and their cameras wet.  The photos were taken between 2 and 4 in the afternoon, and can be viewed at my Facebook account.  The photos are in chronological order, so you can get an idea how things look as the day progresses.

An RQD reader left a rather long comment that I have decided to turn into a post.  First his comments, then my reaction…

READER COMMENTS

Here are some observations relating to your blog I made during my holiday in Bkk and Pattaya in January. All the boys I met were from DJ-station, Lumpini Park, Gayromeo, beach or host-bar.

I found that it’s of utmost importance always to have enough 100baht-bills and therefore spend the 1000baht-bills (which I receive when I change money) first. There are many places that can’t give change for 1000baht and I had some unpleasant experiences due to lack of small change. In SeeK-dance, I wanted to tip a dancer with 100baht (I saw Thais doing this), but I didn’t have a 100baht-note. Later, I paid a bottle of coke with a 1000baht-note and waited for the change; in vain. Half an hour later (when they closed), I inquired, but we did not get to a result, so I gave in. (At that time, my Thai friend had left without telling me where he went, I looked around and tried to call him, to no avail. Next day I asked him: he had to vomit and went home alone – without telling me.). Another day, I was in a taxi and needed to pee. When we arrived at my hotel, the driver didn’t have change for 1000baht, so I had to go to 7-eleven first. Fortunately, the need to pee was no!
t very urgent.

Thai boy’s English: grammar and vocabulary is not that bad; however, pronunciation can be difficult to understand, on mobile phone it can become impossible to talk with boy, in this case I use SMS. Thais really have difficulties with pronouncing the letter “R” and often replace it by “L”. In Romanized Thai, sometimes “r” appears but you don’t hear it when Thais speak the word, e.g. Sathorn or Sathon (I found both Romanizations), Chakran sauna is pronounced like “Chakan”. Some other problem-words: “friend” sounds like “fan”. Thais have problems pronouncing an “s” at the end of a word, it is simply dropped: “sex” becomes “sek” and “tax” becomes “tak”. They often confuse “he”, “his” and “him”, e.g. “him loom not clean” – “his room is not clean”. Knowledge of Thai would give amazing insights into Thai grammar by listening to Thai boys’ English.

Bed clothes: I brought a spare pyjama (kind of T-shirt and boxers, similar to what I wear in bed) and offered it to boys, but all of them preferred to sleep naked or in underwear.

Mouthwash: I never used mouthwash before, but I brought a bottle (250ml) and it was used by most boys (I could hear or smell) without asking me, at the end it was almost empty. I didn’t know that it’s that easy to make their stay with me more comfortable, thanks for the tip!

Coin in ear: A mamasan in Krazy Dragon Pattaya had a one-baht-coin in his ear. It fits perfectly, he had no explanation why he put it there (maybe change because drinks are 99baht?).

Thai boys peeing: All my guests peed standing, at least they put the toilet seat up before they did and they didn’t miss as far as I could see. (Men peeing into toilet standing with or without missing and not taking the toilet seat down afterwards is a subject for jokes, conflicts and maybe even divorces in Germany.) What really surprises me is that they can pee with a boner (I can’t, which is a problem when I wake up in the morning with an erection and need to pee, I asked my English friends: they find it very inconvenient to pee with a boner).

Showering is much less common than I expected from reading your blog. I had boys that just wiped off cum with a tissue and then slept overnight in my bed; i.e. no shower at all during stay in my room.

Dating Thai boys: my experiences are from in-time up to six hours late (therefore, when I meet a boy in public place I chose a place where I can spend an hours without getting bored in case he turns up late).

Butterfly: I had a boy from a host-bar in Pattaya and after two hours walking on the beach and in the town I told him that I want to go to Sunee Plaza and he suddenly told me: “You are butterfly. I can see in your eyes: You are very, very butterfly.” Is this the worst possible insult I can get?

Entertaining Thai-boys: I went to the Chakran-sauna with a friend from DJ-station and the Jacuzzi was fun for both of us.

Parade of the boys in Soi twilight: You recommended sitting and watching there after midnight, but I found it very entertaining around 8-9pm when the boys arrive. Furthermore, I can recommend to take a look around and go behind the bar (Wild West Boys Pattaya) or check where they go eating (about 100m away from Soi Twilight on Surawong, there are food stalls where I observed massage boys and go-go boys and chatted with them). There they are in a natural environment, sometimes even don’t care about my presence, and the light is much better than in bars (revealing that some wear a lot of make-up, looks very un-natural).

Buddhism: I was with a host-bar-boy (the one from above who called me butterfly) and we went to the large Buddha in Pattaya where he prayed. (I told him I wanted to see the Buddha and when we were there I just followed him and it was very entertaining.) He told me that he is not only Buddhist, but Christian as well and he prayed at a Chinese temple there, too. In one Buddhist temple, there was a small Buddha made of brass which he lifted two times above his head for luck and asked me to do the same. First I thought, the Buddha was fixed to the ground, than I managed with some effort to lift it above my head twice. It was very heavy!

ICK and SeeK-dance: This is another example where I just followed a friend without knowing what’s going on and was pleasantly surprised. He did not tell me that we were going to ICK, but I wanted to go there anyway but didn’t know the directions. So I let him do everything (giving directions to taxi, ordering table) and it was very interesting. There was very nice dancing in underwear in SeeK-dance and some days later in ICK (where I went with another friend).

How do boys in Go-go-bars get their numbers? I asked a mamasan and as far as I understood, the first boy gets number 1 and and each new boy gets the next free number. If boys leave the bar, the number is not allocated to a new boy? That explains why a bar with about 20 boys on stage can have numbers up to 98, but I never saw numbers above 99. Any explanation?

Is Herpes (Herpex simplex virus) known in Thailand? It causes cold sore on the lip or genital herpes. I get herpes on my lip about once a year, and it was just before my holiday, so during the first days there was some scab on my lip. I told a friend (and showed him a printout from Wikipedia), but this did not prevent him from kissing me.

When boys (in Soi Twilight or Boyztown) shake hand with me, they sometimes tickle the palm of my hand with their middle finger.

When boys beckon me to come to them, they stretch out their hand, the palm points down and they move their fingers up and down. In Germany, we use this gesture to make someone go away, whereas with palm pointing up it means “come here”. So I was a bit confused the first time I saw it (in Pattaya in a host bar).

Boys and pillows. I went to KL to visit a friend from university (Malay-Chinese high-society woman) and slept in her brother’s room. He gave me a cylindrical pillow and showed me how to use it for sleeping on my side: put it between my legs and wrap my arms around it. (This is exactly how I like to hug friends in bed!). When we were driving in her car, my friend’s sisters had pillows on their lap. Use of pillows seems to be common in South-East Asia!

Boys and Temperature. I felt comfortable without air-con, so I left it switched off (I don’t like the noise). However, most boys switched it on when they entered my room. That’s strange because for them, it’s winter, why cool the room?

On the other hand, boys often take off their T-shirt when entering the room. Why do they do that? I like to slip my hands under T-shirts and to take them off myself, so I have to tell them to put it on again so I can take it off.

Shy boys. Changing underwear under towel after showering

In bars, sometimes a boys put on a show for me (i.e. smiling, dancing, keeping eye-contact, wink with eye, hand and lip movements). Are they really interested in spending time with me?

Another strange thing is: “Can I go with you for free” (happened twice in Pattaya: in a host-bar and on the beach, both times in the afternoon). In both cases, they finally asked for money and I gave them the going rate. But why do they say “go for free”?

I always have my T-shirt tucked in and a friend of mine told me that people look at me because it’s so unusual. I have a theories why people have their T-shirt tucked in or not tucked in. I always have my T-shirt tucked in because I don’t like wind blowing under it (besides, in Europe it’s cold most time of the year). I believe people wear their shirt over their trousers to allow others easier access to skin (by slipping hand under T-shirt), but this only works for DJ-station.

Being fat: I gained some kgs over the last months and a Thai friend told me I became fat (I’m still slim). Incredible that he noticed and remembered from 4 months ago!

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

MY COMMENTS

Picking up boys at Lumpini, or any other public park, is very high risk business.  I do not recommend it at all!  At the very least you are asking to get attacked by straight youth that are sick and tired of the farang trolls in their public parks.

I don’t recall how much I’ve written about the importance of always having small change, but it will make life much easier if you do.  In addition, there has been a problem with counterfeit 1000 baht bills circulating, so many small businesses are afraid to take them.

You found boys with stronger English skills, because of the places you looked for them.  Freelancers almost always speak better English, and that’s why they are freelancers.  Communication with boys on the phone is always difficult, because they can not read your lips.

I don’t think boys have difficulty pronouncing “s” at the end of words.  More likely they have only learned the singular version of words.  It is also possible that the Thai language does not use plurals like English does.  Perhaps someone with good Thai language skills could comment.

The boys wear boxers, not PJs, so I’m not surprised they rejected your offer.  Most boys sleep in their underwear.  It is very rare to find one that will sleep naked.  The only times I’ve seen this is with the freelancers, and my assumption is it’s because they have more experience with farangs and know that its the “customer’s” preference.  My suggestion for giving a boy boxers to wear is for when he is hanging out around the room.  Boys do not like walking around in just their underwear, but are totally comfortable with a pair of boxers and underwear combination. Boys are comfortable with any style of underwear once in bed, and will almost always put them back on after sex.

These days a one baht coin in the ear is a fashion statement.  Mamasan has pockets to carry change.

Boys that do not shower, as I have described, are very low class and dirty.  I have encountered boys like this, exclusively among the street and on-line (Gay Romeo) freelancer types.  Boys like this usually can not be trusted, and there is a very strong likelihood they are HIV positive.

As a general rule, any boy that shows up more than 20 minutes late gets rejected by me.  If you allow a boy to make you wait you’re giving him control and opening the door for all kinds of other problems.  Never ever allow boys to do this to you.  They will not respect you if you do.

The use of “butterfly” from a bar boy is not nearly as insulting as from a boy in DJ station.  You should be more concerned about the boys saying to each other you are a butterfly than them actually saying it to your face.  If you have a reputation with the boys as being a butterfly they will not respect you and you WILL get treated differently.

Watching the boys arrive between 7:30 and 8:30 is also fun, but they are at work and not available.  After checking in, many go back out to eat something before they have to start performing on stage.  During this time it is common for the boys to briefly stop and visit with farang they know.  I never bother the boys while they are eating.  If they are nice to you at that time its only because they hope you will come and off them from their bar later, but I seriously doubt it gains you much respect.  Most likely, their take on it is you are a “Cheep Charley” troll.

How the boys get their numbers at GoGo bars probably differs from one bar to the next.  I have seen boys take the number of one that has left.  I’ve also seen boys wear the number of a boy that is on holiday, but still working in the bar.

Did the boy that didn’t care about the scab on your lip take a shower before or after sex?

Tickling the palm of your hand while shaking it is quite common with the bar boys.  I never bothered to explore it though.

Waving someone over, with palm down is more respectful.  To do it with palm up is comparable to calling your dog.  I don’t see this as much in Thailand, but I quickly learned it was a very bad thing to do when I was living in the Philippines.

The boy most likely turned on the air conditioner, because he knows farang will want it on and was just trying to be a good boy.

Most boys do not take their shirt off after entering the room.  In fact, it’s extremely rare to see that happen.  It is common for a boy to start undressing if he thinks sex is about to happen.  They don’t understand a lot of farang like to undress their boy, yours truly included.

QUESTION: “In bars, sometimes a boys put on a show for me (i.e. smiling, dancing, keeping eye-contact, wink with eye, hand and lip movements). Are they really interested in spending time with me?”

ANSWER: It’s their job.

QUESTION: “Another strange thing is: “Can I go with you for free” (happened twice in Pattaya: in a host-bar and on the beach, both times in the afternoon). In both cases, they finally asked for money and I gave them the going rate. But why do they say “go for free”?”

ANSWER: It is a favorite technique with some boys, because they know it often works.  It is most common with freelancers.  You did end up going with the boy and you did pay him…right?  Your conduct was reaffirming to the boy that his approach does in fact work, or he wouldn’t do it.

The reason boys leave their T shirt out in Thailand is exactly why you keep it in back home.  It is hot in Thailand.  Also, the boys wear their pants rather low, so every time they bend over their shirt would pull out anyway.  All the boys wear their shirts out, not just the money boys.  It has nothing to do with sex.  If you ask a boy why he wears his shirt out he will most likely say, “For good fashion.”

The other day Leo and I were once again discussing all the drama between Princess and his boyfriend.  It looks to me like a power struggle, but the end result is constant verbal abuse from the BF.  Yet Princess puts up with it, which is not at all characteristic of him to do.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

Leo held his hand in front of his eyes and said, “Maybe he have ghost in front of eye.”  When I questioned the phrase, Leo said it is commonly used with Thais.  It would be our equivalent of “having blinders on” or “can’t see the forest through the trees”.

I’m always fascinated by how much ghosts and spirits are entrenched in Thai culture.  I have concluded many do not actually believe in them, but everyone seems quite comfortable acting as if they do.

Here is something that has taken me a long time to figure out, and I’m still not that good at it.  When trying to make a point with a Thai it is very often a mistake to fall back on western cultural standards and principles.  In particular I’m thinking of those situations where the root of your argument is centered on a matter of principle.  In other words, what you think is important and a “given” may have little or no significance to a Thai person.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

Learning what the differing principles are between these two cultures can be challenging, to say the least.  An example I’ve used before is the pork ball story.  A farang sitting at a bar asks one of the boys to go buy him some pork balls, but he returns with fish balls.  The boy brought fish balls because the vendor was out of pork. By farang principles if someone is paid to go do something they should do that or nothing at all.  By Thai principles the need to eat is almost a sacred thing, so returning empty handed would be “more bad”.  Besides, who doesn’t like fish balls…right?

There are those situations where you know the boy did you wrong, but trying to correct it head on will only make the situation worse.  Let’s say the boy staying with you goes out drinking with friends one night and does not return until 2 the next afternoon.  We all know this is the wrong thing for him to do, but odds are you won’t have much luck trying to address it directly.  Even if the boy gives a reason for his actions it will most likely be very vague, and perhaps less than honest.  Anything you say that directly attacks his actions will be received as him doing bad, and that always goes over like a fart in church.  The results of which will be just about as fruitful as hitting a cat.

One of the things I might do, immediately after the boy arrives home, is ask if he has eaten yet.  This is a very polite and thoughtful way of greeting someone in Thai culture.  It is also very disarming.  His answer will very likely be yes, and that opens the door for a slam dunk.  I would follow that, regardless of his answer, by saying I am very sad today, because I had to eat alone.  Thais do not like to eat alone, and to cause someone to do so, when it could have been avoided, is bad manners.  It is also an indirect way of telling the boy he did wrong without ever bringing up the subject of his staying out all night, which is exactly what he anticipates your focus will be on.  In this case I am using his cultural principles to my favor.  I have shamed him in such a way he can only counter with an apology, and is now thrown completely off balance by getting hit with something he was not expecting.  At the same time I’ve avoided a full on confrontation regarding his over extended absence.  I would then move on as if nothing else had happened.

Every boy is different, but odds are he won’t stay out so late again.

This is one of a few times each year that thousands of Thais head home to visit with family and friends.  On average they will be gone for about one week, and that includes a lot of the boys!  The actual day of departure varies, but you can expect it to start sometime later this week.  Many will return on the 3rd or 4th of January.  The trains and buses will be filled to capacity these two days, so some will come back on the 2nd, and a few will travel on the 5th.

While Christmas is celebrated in Thailand, it’s more of a commercial event.  As Leo puts it, Thais do it for “good fashion”, if they do it at all.  He added that western owned companies will usually have some sort of Christmas party for the employees/clients.

For most Thais, the real celebration is for the Gregorian calendar New Year, which is the first of 3 celebrated each year.  The Thai New Year (Songkran) is celebrated between April 13 to April 15 and the Chinese New Year, which falls on different Gregorian calendar dates each year, shifts between January 21 and February 20.

Most gift giving at this time is associated with the New Year celebration.  I’ve met a few boys over the years that think Christmas and New Year are the same holiday.  Others, like Leo, were told at an early age that farang celebrate New Year on Christmas and January 1 is more of a global festivity.  Of course, he later learned that’s not true.

Gifts are given to the immediate and often extended family members, particularly those that live with or close to the core family unit, which is more common than not in rural settings.  Accordingly, the boys feel a very strong obligation to bring gifts when returning home, a financial burden they struggle with each year.  Thus, if you are in close association with one or more boys this time of year, a little extra cash will be greatly appreciated.   Even if the boy can not return home, he will want to send a bit more to the family so they can buy gifts for everyone.

Just make sure the boy knows your cash gift is for Christmas and New Year.  If the boy is receiving money for services rendered, a little extra than usual scores a lot of points.  Again, make sure he knows why you are giving him extra.  Another option, particularly with a boy that’s living with you, is to go shopping with him and pay for the gifts directly.

At a minimum, budgeting 300 baht for each parent, older sibling and any surviving grand parent is appropriate.  For small children and other extended family members roughly half that (100-150) is more than fair.  You don’t want to over spend here, because the boy, using his own resources, would probably not be able to give nearly as much.  Let the boy know what your budget is, so he can work with you on this.  A good boy will do the right thing, but he needs to know what the budget is.  Failure to share the budget with him puts the boy in a very uncomfortable position, and the process will not go smoothly.  Asking the boy how much you should spend will most likely result in an “up to you” response.

Of course, if you have a boyfriend, and already met the family, you’ll probably be expected to send your own gifts along, even if he is traveling home alone.  It should go without saying the BF is also expecting a gift.

Happy Holidays!

I think most know you should stand to the side while waiting for passengers to disembark the train.  Lord knows there are plenty that ignore this simple rule of conduct, but rarely will you find a westerner guilty of such.  Unfortunately, that’s where the best behavior of westerners ends.

One time I spotted three young (20’s) Europeans sitting on the BTS.  The girl had her feet propped up on the center aisle pole, bottoms facing directly toward the passengers seated opposite of her.

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve observed a westerner lean against the pole between entry and exit doors, with a car full of people.  Of course, no one will try to make use of the pole if someone (always a rude westerner) is leaning their back side against it.  Instead everyone does their best to hold onto something else.  I’ve known for a long time Thais will not grab the pole if someone is leaning on it, but never knew exactly whey.  So, before writing this I asked Princess.  He said, “Kreng Jai…she should know better.”  He said she, because I had just shared with him my observation of a farang woman doing this on the BTS earlier in the day.

According to Princess, use of foul language is unthinkable amongst Thais, but westerners have no problem carrying on a conversation filled with colorful words.  I was on the train a few days ago and there were two young Americans (early 20’s) having a conversation.  Almost every sentence, from one boy, included the word fucking, and he wasn’t speaking softly.

While this is slowly changing, most Thais will not talk on their cell phone.  If they do, it’s usually very soft spoken and often with the other hand cupped over mouth and phone to shield the noise.  The same is apparently true for riding other forms of public transportation, such as bus or van.  This is why a lot of boys will tell you they could not talk, because they were on the bus or train.

While Thais, and other Asians, are notorious for rushing to get on the train, once inside their conduct is almost always above reproach.  In all fairness to westerners, most of the offenders I’ve observed have been under the age of 30.

QUIZ

What are the 4 situations when it would be courteous to stand up and give your seat to another passenger?

This marks the final chapter in our trip to Korat.   It is also when I discovered why Leo is not nearly as active a Buddhist compared to most boys I’ve been around.

As you recall, I noticed a huge structure off to the right while in route to the lake.  When I asked about it, all Leo said was we would go there later.  After finishing up at the beautiful lake side resort, everyone piled into the car and headed for this mystery structure.  Well, mystery to me.

After parking, we headed into the complex. Leo’s young cousin stayed in the car, because he was still just in his wet underwear. It would have been inappropriate for him to be seen wearing just a shirt and underpants in what I had just learned was a Buddhist wat.

As it turns out, this is a new Buddhist temple, still under construction, but already drawing a big crowd.  While I’m sure there are bigger, Wat Non Kum has the largest temple structure I have ever seen.  The huge temple houses a sculpture of Buddha.  There are many different depictions of Buddha, and this particular one is the largest of its kind (indoors) in the world.

Leo later explained Wat Non Kum is being built by a former Thai movie celebrity, who was on the grounds while we visited.  At the time I didn’t know who he was, but it wasn’t lost on me, by his perch on an elevated seat looking down on everyone, this guy enjoyed some degree of stature.  When I first saw the man my gut feeling about him wasn’t very positive, as his smile did not strike me as being sincere.  He was presiding over the sale of Buddhist amulets, no doubt associated with the new wat.  A large percentage of the proceeds, I assume, making their way into his pocket.  My first clue this wasn’t your typical wat came when I noticed everyone had to pass through the building this guy was in, its only purpose being the sale of items to visitors.

The grounds are immaculately landscaped. With ponds, small lake, water fountains and sculptured trees it is truly a photographer’s paradise.  Unfortunately the group was a bit rushed, so I didn’t have time to take all the photos I wanted.  Come to find out, aside from little cousin sitting in the car, the main reason everyone did not want to stay long was this wat is more of a tourist attraction than a place of worship.  Leo pointed out that there are no monks living on property and no head monk assigned to the wat.  Best I can determine, these commercially oriented wats have started popping up all over the place in recent years, some marred in controversy.

So while busy shooting photos inside the temple, I assumed the family was paying their respects.  In fact, they were all just sitting on the steps outside waiting for me to finish.  I actually learned about most of this after Leo and I were back in our hotel room.  And it was in this discussion Leo finally revealed why he is not a devout Buddhist.

I met Leo shortly after he had done his 30 days as a monk, something many boys in Thailand do while in their mid 20’s.  Leo explained during his 30 day residence at the local Wat he had an opportunity to observe things from behind closed doors and it was very disconcerting for him.

While I suspect other things happened, the example Leo gave had to do with the giving of donations in return for services provided by the monks.  Monks are called upon to do many things, such as bless a new home, car or motorbike.  In return a donation is given, sealed in an envelope.  Leo told me the head monk would regularly express his displeasure with how small the donations were.  He said monks are supposed to give up all worldly possessions, so it should make no difference how much money people give.

I asked him if he had discussed this with his parents.  Leo told me he had and their response was there is good and bad everywhere.  This apparently wasn’t enough to dissuade Leo’s disenchantment with the Buddhist faith.  He still participates in the big religious holiday ceremonies, and will occasionally make use of the altar in our room. I have never seen him wai a Buddhist shrine as we pass it and he has no desire to visit anything Buddhist unless it is for a major event.

I have noticed that Thai youth, in middle and upper classes, seem less reverent than those from the lower echelons of society.  I would not go so far as to say this is a fact, but it is the impression I’m getting.

ON ANOTHER NOTE

This month Leo and I celebrate our first year together.  Neither one of us can remember the exact date we became boyfriends, but both agree it was sometime in November.  It doesn’t really feel like a year has passed, but I guess that’s a good thing.