Awhile back I wrote about one of the many superstitions boys have.  This one had to do with clipping finger and toe nails, in the room, between 6pm and 6am.  The boy that told me about this said to do so would bring bad luck to the home.

Well, over a year later this same boy is at my place clipping his nails, after 6 in the evening.  So I asked him what the deal was.  The boy told me he no longer follows that belief, but still adheres to the practice of throwing the clippings out the window.  Princess is also in the room and exclaims he too believes in tossing the clippings out the window.  Why?  For good luck, of course!  The other boy then explains if you leave the clippings on the floor and a rat eats them, he will turn into a replica of you.  Well, we certainly can’t have that, now can we?

I do pride myself in having a room that’s rat free, but this doesn’t seem to have any influence on the boys’ behavior.  Over the years I have noticed every single boy makes a nice neat pile of his clippings, but always assumed they were just being neat and tidy.  Silly me!  That’s the last thing most boys are, so why would they make an exception for their nail clippings?  Now I know why!

I was eating with a couple of the boys the other day.  In typical Thai style we got several dishes and shared them.  It is also quite common for everyone to use their own eating utensils, usually the spoon, to serve themselves, both at home and in a restaurant.

I’ve mentioned before that it is very important to make sure no rice is stuck to the utensil while serving yourself from a shared dish.  Now here’s another rule of etiquette to add to the list.  Two people should never serve themselves, at the same time, from the same dish.  But there’s more.

Princess and I reached for another serving from the same dish.  While doing so, the backs of our spoons touched.  Princess said, “Someone will come to visit today.”  The other boy then giggled.  Princess asked me if I knew about that and I asked him, “About what?”  He explained that when the back of two spoons touch it means someone will come to visit that day.  He further explained that it makes no difference when they collide, so if two people are reaching for separate dishes and happen to connect it would mean the same thing.

Then he politely revealed it is also bad manners for two people to serve themselves from the same dish at the same time.  Who knew?

Some of these things are regionally specific, but in this case I took note that the other boy was familiar with what had been discussed, and agreed.  Princess is from Isan and the other boy comes from the south.

Later that day the man that collects the rent stopped by for this month’s payment.

The other day Leo and I were once again discussing all the drama between Princess and his boyfriend.  It looks to me like a power struggle, but the end result is constant verbal abuse from the BF.  Yet Princess puts up with it, which is not at all characteristic of him to do.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

Leo held his hand in front of his eyes and said, “Maybe he have ghost in front of eye.”  When I questioned the phrase, Leo said it is commonly used with Thais.  It would be our equivalent of “having blinders on” or “can’t see the forest through the trees”.

I’m always fascinated by how much ghosts and spirits are entrenched in Thai culture.  I have concluded many do not actually believe in them, but everyone seems quite comfortable acting as if they do.

The XX has returned to Pattaya, but during his short visit I learned of another superstition.  Both Leo and Princess don’t invest much in these things, but XX is a real believer and also gives credence to many the other two are unfamiliar with.  This is no surprise as superstitions tend to vary from one region of Thailand to the next.

Anyway, XX was washing the dishes and noticed one of the plates had a small crack in it.  He suggested it be tossed in the trash, but I said the crack wasn’t that bad and the dish was still usable.  He then explained a crack in any dish, including glass ware, is bad luck and should be discarded as quickly as possible.  One example he gave was a crack in a dish will make a couple more distant in life.

While walking around you may notice the occasional plate of food, often with drink, on the ground or possibly a short sitting stool.  If not familiar with this one might question why someone has abandoned their perfectly good meal.  Actually, by the time you encounter it, the meal probably isn’t perfectly good any more, as it’s been sitting out for several hours and the ants or pigeons have most likely invaded.

Taken outside the gate to a home

If you step back and examine the setting, you’ll probably notice the place is outside the gated entry to a home, condo or apartment complex.  They are also common outside places of business.  So why would people intentionally place a plate of food outside the entrance to their property?

This is food for the ghosts.  First it’s important to understand ghosts and spirits are not the same.  I don’t know enough to explain exactly what the differences are, but best I can determine ghosts used to be living mortals while spirits have never walked the earth in human form.   In addition, specific beliefs about feeding the ghosts vary from one to the next, so it is impossible to cover them all.  In Leo’s words there are a million different beliefs.  He may have been exaggerating a bit.

In any case, there are two common examples I’m familiar with.  One is to place food outside a restaurant to feed the ghosts passing by on the street.  This will hopefully make them happy and in return they’ll invite “living” guests in.  Another is to set the food outside a gated entry, to a place people live, in hopes the ghosts will not go inside foraging for a meal.

This is just a superficial overview, so you’ll have a general understanding.  As I said, the beliefs and practices associated with feeding the ghosts are wide ranging.

One day in Pattaya, while sitting in the Bamboo Bar, I observed a man stop and down the drink that was on a plate the establishment had placed out front.  The drink was in a shot glass and looked like either whiskey or tea.  The man that drank it looked like he lived on the streets and was most likely suffering from a mental health disability.  Who knows, maybe the man thought he was a ghost and nobody could see him.

Last Wednesday I took note of the rather unique date (9-9-9) and didn’t give it much thought after.  I had to run some errands around Bangkok that day, and while walking around noticed tributes to the King going up in front of commercial buildings.  This told me there was something special going on for the King, but I had no idea what it was.  I also noticed a lot of people carrying beautiful flower arrangements, the kind one usually gives as a gift.  I assumed the two were related, but still had no clue what was going on.

Photo Courtesy of Private Boy Movie

That evening I forgot to ask Leo about it, and didn’t think to ask the next morning before he left for work.  Later the next day Princess came by, and I asked him what was special about Wednesday for the King.  He said 999, an all too common Thai short and uninformative answer.  So I asked if he could expand on his response.  He then explained that in Thailand the number 9 is considered lucky, and so logically the ninth day of the ninth month of the ninth year was a very lucky day.  He said, because of this everyone wanted to send their best wishes to the King.  I forgot to ask about the flowers, but later got a hint as to what that was all about.

Next I asked Princess if 9 was the only lucky number for Thais.  He said no, 7 and 8 are also lucky numbers.  He added that 8 actually has its origin in Japanese culture, but because there are so many Thai/Japanese mixed marriages it has been adopted in Thailand, as well.  I then asked if there are any unlucky numbers, and he said 3 and 4.

I try to get confirmation on these things from more than one source, so today at lunch I asked Leo, without letting him know I already had the answer.  At first he wasn’t too forthcoming, but after a few attempts I got out of him that the day was very special, because of all the nines.  And that everyone wanted to wish the King well on this very special day.  Then he added it was also a very popular day for marriages, with a lot of couples planning their wedding ceremony for nine minutes after nine o’clock on the ninth.  This, I suspect, explains all the flower arrangements I saw people carrying. He added that a special song was sung for the King at nine o’clock.

Next I asked what other numbers are considered lucky and after a little thought Leo said 8, but didn’t know of any others or the Japanese connection.  In addition, Leo had no idea what numbers are considered unlucky.  He said people that believe in such things would know, and then asked if we could change the subject.

This was yet another example of the differences between Leo and Princess, one a middle class urban boy and the other rural low class.  I have notice, particularly with the younger generations, a big difference in beliefs, as it relates to most superstitions.  Those in the urban middle and upper classes tend to dismiss these notions, while the rural village boys generally put stake in them.  I suspect with older generations the divide isn’t as great, but I’ve not had many opportunities to compare.

Pragmatic as he is, Leo isn’t without his superstitions.  In particular, he’s quick to embrace systems based on the expectation of good luck when selecting lottery numbers.  He thinks I am lucky at picking winning numbers, largely because I did the first time he asked.  Unfortunately my selection was not available, so he purchased tickets with different numbers.  He read some article about a child that consistently picks winners, and thinks I may poses the same gift.  So far I’ve not been able to repeat this amazing talent, but Leo keeps coming back…insisting I am lucky.

After returning from our day trip to Phimai we dropped Little and O off and stopped at our hotel just long enough to freshen up.  From there it was off to the family home for a BBQ dinner.  We got to the house around 5pm and some of the women and kids where already preparing food.  There was enough meat on a skewer to feed an army, plus a tray of chicken, and about 5 or 6 whole fish.

Some of the food.

They had already lit the grill, but it wasn’t cooking evenly so Leo stepped in and started instructing everyone on what to do, as he made things right.  It was at this point I began to notice Leo is the dominant member of the family.  His father is very soft spoken, but when he talks everyone pays attention.  Yet, throughout the evening Dad rarely issued any orders.  For the most part, he only got involved when Leo wasn’t around to deal with it himself.  Leo is the eldest son, so maybe this is typical in a Thai family unit…I don’t know.

Leo’s cousin having fun being the cook.

The autistic male cousin is 22 years old.  He helps Leo’s Mom at her work, and this evening he was in charge of going on his bicycle to get more soda, coke and ice when they needed replenishing.   Between supply runs, he was also given the responsibility for keeping everyone’s glass of whiskey full.  He is very shy, but always has a big smile on his face.  This would only change if things got a little too exciting for him, at which point he would quickly withdraw.

Fence

Leo’s two autistic aunts rarely showed them selves.  The single room home that had recently been built was occupied by one.  There is a small fence that separates the front of here home from the rest of the open common area.  Leo told me she was free to go anyplace, and I could see there was nothing restricting her from walking out to the main road, so I suspect the fence was there to create a sense of security or separation.  A difficulty with social interaction is the most common feature of autistic individuals, so I didn’t find this arrangement unusual.  Every once in awhile she would come out of her room and stand at the fence to watch what was going on, but never engaged.  Later I asked Leo about the fence and he said the aunt requested it, but he didn’t know why.

What might he be thinking about?

I thought it interesting that Leo’s parents never once got involved with the preparation and serving of food or drinks.  Well, it was actually no surprise Dad didn’t, as this would not be one of his responsibilities.  I didn’t think it appropriate to ask Leo why this was, but assumed they were concentrating there efforts on being a good host.

Early in the evening I noticed the 22 year old cousin had returned with a big banana leaf.  He started to cut it up when one of the aunts took it from him.  I assumed they were going to wrap fish in it for cooking.  As it turns out, the ladies needed a basting brush, and strips of banana leaf tied to a stick would do just fine.

Banana Leaf Basting Brush

As the evening progressed, and never an empty glass of whiskey to be found, things started to lighten up a bit.  Leo had asked that I go slowly with the whiskey consumption, because we still had the gay disco on our agenda for later that evening.

Things went well, and everyone seemed to have a good time.  Once all the cooking was done two of the aunts seated themselves on either side of me.  Both were a bit aggressive, to the point I was feeling a little overwhelmed.  Leo saw what was happening and quickly announced we needed to get going.

It was a bit early for the disco, so Leo decided we should pick up Little and O and spend some time at the Khunying Mo monument before heading over to the club.

I’ll save those two experiences for my next post.

DISCO BALLS AND MIRRORS

Disco Ball and Mirrors

The first night we were at Leo’s home I noticed several small disco balls hanging outside the homes.  On the second night my curiosity got the best of me, and I asked Leo what the deal was with all these disco balls hanging everywhere.  He explained that some Thais believe mirrors will scare away the bad spirits, and a disco ball has MANY mirrors.  Next Leo pointed out all the small mirrors stuck to walls and pillars outside every door. He then said the larger mirror mounted outside his home was also good for one last check of your hair before leaving.

Big Mirror

The other night, while out with one of the boys, I asked if he would go to the store and get me something.  When he returned I was given my change, but he took the coins and put them up to my face and asked me to open my mouth.

I questioned his request and he asked if I knew about this.  “About what”, I queried.  He explained trying to put coins in someone’s mouth is a joke Thais do.  Then he told me that when Thais die people put 10 baht coins in their mouth so they have money in their next life.  I don’t get the joke, but find the second half of his explanation fascinating.  Then he told me that when someone is talking too much people may say he needs to be careful about this or the coins might fall out.  Again, I don’t get the joke, or analogy, but find the whole thing very interesting.

SIDEBAR:  The coins used in this photo where thoroughly cleaned before the boy put them in his mouth.  Interestingly enough, he was not concerned about sanitation.  Actually that’s not surprising at all.  Even so, the boy was very reluctant to do this, because it would make him look dead.

This reminds me of a classic from the movie South Pacific (1958) - I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Outa My Hair.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

One of the boys I hang out with regularly has been having BF problems.  A couple of nights ago he showed up with his hair cut very short, any shorter and you would have needed a razor.  This boy wears his hair short, but still with enough to do some styling.  The new look was not at all flattering for him, and I had to believe he knew it.  So I asked him why he cut his hair so short.  His English isn’t that great, so he opted to tell one of the other boys, who in turn explained it to me.

Come to find out, many boys are of the belief that cutting one’s hair off will mend a broken heart.  This boy was so fed up with his Thai BF being such a butterfly he finally gave him the boot.  Even so, he was still in love and doing so broke his heart.

For what its worth, all the Isaan boys at the table were familiar with this practice, but the Bangkok boy had never heard of it.

A reader suggested I post about Thai superstitions and gave some examples he is aware of.  I have posted about a few superstitions, and plan to post more.  I’ve even established a category (see sidebar) for those posts that talk about Thai superstitions.

Photo Courtesy of Asia Boy

While it is true Thais tend to be superstitious, it’s not universal.  Some don’t subscribe to any of it, others are selective in their beliefs, and many have beliefs that others have never heard of.  In addition, the specifics of a particular belief vary from one to the next.  The best example I can think of is in the piece I did about baby teeth.  Also, the details about a specific superstition may get lost due to limited English skills, so all we are told is it brings good or bad luck, when it is often more specific than that.  The best way to illustrate this is to look at the superstitions mentioned by the reader….

He said - “If you’re not BFs you can not share perfume, this is bad luck.”  To be more specific, the two of you will, at some point in the future, have a very bad fight.  However, there is a ritual of passing the cologne under each leg, before using it, which nullifies any possible ill effects.

He said - “Giving perfume as a gift is fine, however when one of his friends said he liked mine, and I offered it to him (it had been opened) he would only accept if I took 1 Thai baht off of him in exchange. This would keep the bad luck away.”  To be more specific, you can not give someone “your” cologne or the recipient risks not seeing you for a very long time if ever again.  And if you give your cologne to your BF you will loose him.  This is nullified provided you sell your cologne, not give it.

He said - “The age of 25 is deemed to be a very unlucky year, and my BF and his friends will be happier when they are all 26!!”  My understanding of this belief is at age 25 you will have either a very good year or a very bad year, but nothing in between.

The reader also asked if there are any others I could contribute.  Well, here’s one a boy shared with me.  He believes its good luck to cut your nails and hair on a Monday or Friday.  And for what it’s worth, this boy does not subscribe to the superstitions governing cologne usage.

ADDED BEFORE POSTING

A comment came in from a Thai reader after I wrote this, but before it got posted.  His comments further illustrate what I’ve been talking about.

“…some believe of Thai boy that you wrote might be a little bit difference from what my friends i believe, but well i think that because all those things is also depend on which part we are from in Thailand e.g north part might believe difference from south part. or like rob said about have to give one baht to exchange that opened perfume, well i never heard about perfume but i heard about handkerchief and a reason why we have to give 1 baht or more to exchange with handkerchief because if we take it for free we will be unlucky and have a sad life..why sad life? well because we use handkerchief to clean our face and also absorb our tear when we cry because of sadness so a handkerchief is not a good gift to give at least a person who give have to accept a little money…and about when we are 25 we will have a bad luck is a true story that we believe for a long time and the way to make a bad luck away or make it softer is to go to a temple and make a merit ”