A Thai acquaintance of mine told me something very interesting. He said if you want to get picked up in a Thai-for-Thai establishment, do not show any interest. In other words, don’t cruise the crowd. This goes for both clubs and saunas (bath houses).

Just to clarify things, this has to do with getting approached by guys that are not money boys. As far as I know, there are no money boys in Thai-for-Thai clubs, and all of the saunas, including Babylon, do not allow money boys to work their customers. I base this on what a few money boys have told me.

I asked a couple of my Farang friends, whom have lived in Thailand for a few years, if there was any credence to what my Thai friend had told me. One said yes, and the other said he’d never heard that, but it explained a few of his past experiences. He went on to say that he used to frequent one of the Thai-for-Thai saunas. Each time he went in looking for some action, he got none. The two times he went to the sauna with no interest in sex, several cute guys approached him.

While both of my Farang friends are a lot younger than I, my Thai friend did not indicate looks or age had anything to do with this. I know for a fact there are younger (20’s) Thai boys out there that prefer older men. I’ve been seeing one, off and on, for the past two months, and he’s definitely not a money boy.

The only times I’ve been in a Thai-for-Thai club, I was accompanied by one or more Thai friends. In those situations, everyone in the club would automatically assume I’m seeing one of the guys I came with. Thus, I’ve never had the opportunity to test these waters.

UPDATE - 16 January 2007

I was visiting with a new Farang acquaintance that has lived in Thailand for many years. The subject of this document came up and he said a better way of saying it is, let them come to you. This was more in the context of meeting guys in public places, out side the traditional gay cruising areas - places like shopping centers, hotels, restaurants, or simply walking down the street.

He went on to explain; if you notice a guy staring (cruising) at you, don’t cruise back. Just casually glance in his direction, at which point he will look away. Then when you go back to what you are doing he will stare at you again. Let it go on this way until he makes the first move.

A good example is the restaurant waiter will strike up a conversation and eventually tell you what time he’s getting off work. This opens the door for you to invite him for a drink, when he gets off. If he accepts your offer, meet him for just that, nothing else. If, during that meeting, he wants to take it further, you will probably be offered a way to make contact. It is at that next meeting something will most likely happen.

While that is just one example, the idea is you let him take the lead. It will depend on the guy as to how aggressive he will be, but you just need to go with the flow. Let him escalate things at his pace and comfort level.

The guy I was talking to about this is a fat westerner in his fifties. He told me he never pays for sex. He said if you want sex on your schedule, then you will need to pay, but if you are willing to let it come to you, there is no reason to ever have to pay.

Of course this is exactly how a lot of people meet back home. The difference is age and looks are not a huge factor in Thailand. A lot of Thais have a daddy complex. Some will even call you daddy in bed. I’ve actually encountered one, and he did call me daddy. My friend said it’s happened to him several times. Similarly, a lot of Thais are into Bears, including the younger 20’s guys.

Prior to learning this, I thought these encounters were reserved for the younger, more attractive, Farangs. One of my younger Farang friends told me I was wrong, but I thought he was just saying it to make me feel better. Looking back I can recall many situations where these opportunities presented themselves, and I let them pass right by.