Toothpick Etiquette
November 8th, 2009In the past I wrote about the importance of covering your mouth when cleaning teeth with a toothpick. Its one of the first things I learned when arriving in Thailand. All these years later, I’ve discovered one more important item. I don’t usually suck on a toothpick, so I guess this is why it’s taken so long for me to discover it.
The other night Leo and I were in the store shopping for groceries and a clerk offered us a free sample of ham, which was served on a toothpick. After consuming the sample I didn’t see a place to discard the pick, so I held onto it until a trash receptacle crossed my path. While checking out I needed the use of both hands, so I stuck the toothpick in my mouth. WELL, when Leo saw that he gasped. I immediately concluded what the issue was, and told him I was aware of having to cover one’s mouth when cleaning, but did not know it’s bad to just put one in your mouth. His only response was to say, in a disgusted tone, “Dirty!”
Of course, I removed the toothpick from my mouth, and then told Leo it is common for guys to do this in America, something I thought he surely must have observed from movies and TV shows. His reply, in a condescending tone was, “I know!”
While this is based solely on the reaction of one Thai, I’m thinking it’s safe to say sucking on toothpicks in Thailand is probably a bad idea. I can’t help but find it interesting Thais hold such a high standard when it comes to the use of a toothpick, but think nothing of picking their nose in public. But that’s just the way things are in the Land of Smiles.
November 8th, 2009 at 7:51 am
Interesting. I did have to use a toothpick once when I was out with a Thai friend. I’m quite certain that I didn’t cover my mouth and he didn’t say anything. That guy works in hospitality, though, so perhaps he’s use to farang vulgarity. lol.
November 8th, 2009 at 9:09 am
Thai hygiene etiquette is indeed a strange mix of contradictions.
As you point out, public nose picking is not uncommon. On the other hand I am always chastised by my bf when I blow my nose into a handkerchief in public, even when I go to the trouble of turning my head away. There is also some strange thing about some handkerchiefs being bad luck, but I can’t recall the exact details.
I don’t think he carries a handkerchief. If he needs to clear his nose, he just does a vigorous and noisy sniff which many westerners would regard as uncouth.
Thai food handling often needs much to be desired, both by food sellers and on the farm, where food in communal bowls is conveyed to the mouth using only fingers. However the bf is very particular about which street stalls he won’t use. The reason ? “Too dirty”.
The bf invariably uses a toothpick after eating, and always covers his mouth. Having done so, he bares his teeth for me to inspect, in public, which seems to be something of a contradiction. Actually more recently he uses his mobile phone camera for this purpose !
I haven’t come across the toothpick sucking thing.
Western hygiene is somewhat more consistent, at least at the individual level, ie consistently bad or consistently good !
November 8th, 2009 at 9:36 am
I noticed that hang-up about toothpicks. As a Westerner, I think it would be fun to try and flick the toothpick and see who one can hit on the forehead with what came out of the mouth. (Joke)
I don’t make it a big deal of covering my mouth when using a toothpick and it cannot be any worse than Thais who dig their nose on an introduction and then extend their hand for a shake while their children and digging and eating it at a fast food joint.
Handkerchief relates to tears or sadness. Send a case to someone who pisses you off.
I believe this was covered by RQ in a previous article.
November 8th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Damn right about the nose picking. It’s like they lost something up there. Rhinotillexomania (75 point Scrabble word) a sign of obsessive compulsive disorder. Much like self-mutilation behaviors, hair pulling.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nose-picking
Don’t skip the “Health Benefits” section. Reference note at bottom is surprising long. Lot of people are looking into noses?
November 8th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
But is rimming OK? That’s not dirty I hope!
November 8th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Margaret Mead,
That is a very interesting point you bring up. I’ve known for a long time, and written about it, that it is bad manners to blow one’s nose in a restaurant, but I never gave much thought to doing it at other times. Now that I think of it, I can’t recall ever seeing a Thai blow his/her nose. Right now the BF has the sniffles, and all he does is sniff sniff, sniff. After reading your comment I asked him why he doesn’t use a tissue. At which point he presented one that was in his hand, used to dab, but not blow. I asked why he never blows his nose, and got silence.
November 8th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Charlie,
Rimming is hit or miss with the boys. Some love it and others say “it dirty!”
November 8th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
I must be a bigger prude than I thought. Am I the only one who would never use a toothpick in public, mouth opened or closed?
-John
November 8th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
rimming: my experience is that most of the boys love getting it but very few loving giving it.
November 9th, 2009 at 1:28 am
Same same in Laos, of course loudly hacking and then spitting in public is perfectly ok and not at all “dirty”. … viva la difference.
November 10th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
I think covering your mouth when using a toothpick
seems to be an Asian thing….Japanese and chinese i have seen in restaurants all cover their mouths…. but i have seen some thais when eating with friends at home or in their rooms not bothering to make an issue of covering their mouths.
Yes and these same polite Japanese and Chinese are the guys who hack and spit in public without a second thought….
To be honest i’m not sure really if my bf actually even knows HOW to blow his nose!….. even with a cold and runny nose i have suggested he go into the toilet to clear his nose and all he lands up doing is dabbing away frantically at the nostrils or even slightly pushing the tissue into the nostrils and then just resorts to big sniffs….
Yet all Thais are disgusted with nose-blowing in public….if done in a restaurant…well that is close to a diplomatic incident!
Yes John, i think you maybe be a bit of a prude.. even in the most basic Thai eateries you ALWAYS find tissue and tooth-picks. Whereas in the UK it seems to be only high-end restaurants and hotels who offer tooth-picks. I would guess toothpicks wouldn’t be made available if you were not expected to use them.
I have noticed my bf NEVER goes out without a fresh handkerchief but i have never seen him use it anywhere near his nose…used only for slight face perspiration dabbing and occasional use in conjunction with very light amounts of face powder and pocket mirror…..
November 12th, 2009 at 2:45 am
The nose picking thing would be tough to get over I think. What do they do with what they find up there? Wipe it on their clothing or in a hanky?
November 13th, 2009 at 3:36 am
usatexan,
I don’t have an answer for you, but it’s funny you ask. A couple of nights ago I was returning home on the BTS Skytrain and there was a young couple seated opposite of me. The boy started picking his nose and wiping his finger on the girls shoulder. After doing this a few times she noticed what he was doing and reacted as if he was being silly. It was obvious she took no offense whatsoever. I shutter to think what would happen to a boy in America, and certainly many other countries, if he tried that with his girl, in a public place no less. I do not consider this incident typical, but you offered the perfect opportunity for me to share it with everyone.
November 13th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Rimming.. so funny my BF loves receiving but then trys to tell me it dirty…. his moaning and jumping about tell me otherwise